Top 5 Songs With Religious Subject Matter

I went through a lot of possible titles for this post: Top 5 Songs That Are At Least Vaguely About Christianity [rolls right off the tongue, right?], Top 5 Songs About Christianity, Top 5 Songs With Christian Subject Matter.  I came up with this idea after seeing the song "Jesus is Just Alright" by The Doobie Brothers on XM.  In essence, here's how I'm applying the ground rules for myself: songs that include Christian subject matter, with a little more importance in the song than just a throwaway line.  This excludes songs like "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" by The Smiths, as it just includes the word "heaven" and nothing else.

Go with me on this one.

Ryan's Top 5:

1. John Lennon - "God" - The song that really solidified his split from The Beatles.  In that context, this song can be really depressing to listen to, but it is, still, perfect in my mind.  Key religious lyric: "God is a concept by which we measure our pain."

2. The Rolling Stones - "Sympathy for the Devil" - I'm pretty firm on this being my favorite Rolling Stones song.  Key religious lyric: "And I was 'round when Jesus Christ / Had his moment of doubt and pain / Made damn sure that Pilate / Washed his hands and sealed his fate."

3. Morrissey - "I Have Forgiven Jesus" - I still feel vaguely sacrilegious listening to this song.  Key religious lyric: "I have forgiven Jesus / For all the desire / He placed in my heart when there's nothing I can do / With this desire" [this among many lines].

4. Billy Bragg & Wilco [lyrics by Woody Guthrie] - "Christ for President" - Satire at its finest.  I might try teaching this next year...every discussion I have with kids seems to get onto the subject of religious hypocrisy and the need for socialism, so it'd fit.  Key religious lyric: Well, all of it.  But my favorite is: "The only way we can ever beat / These crooked politician men / Is to run the money changers out of the temple / Put the Carpenter in."

5. Kanye West - "Jesus Walks" - This narrowly edged out Neutral Milk Hotel, mainly because it very definitely fits the criteria.  Anyway, this song kicks ass, and modern raps that actually have social/religious relevance are rare indeed.  (I'm sorry, there aren't nearly as many good popular rappers now.  It's okay, there are probably fewer good mainstream rockers.)  Favorite lyric [they're all religious]: "To the hustlers, killers, murderers, drug dealers, even the strippers / (Jesus walks with them)."


Honorable Mentions - Number 6 is "King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 2" by Neutral Milk Hotel, Number 7 is probably "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden, number 8 is "Big Sky" by The Kinks, and the rest I considered in no order are: "Spirit in the Sky," Norman Greenbaum, "Highway to Hell," AC/DC, "Devil Went Down to Georgia," Charlie Daniels Band, "Straight to Hell," The Clash, "God Knows I'm Good" and "Modern Love," Bowie, "Imagine," Lennon, "Vicar in a Tutu," The Smiths (bit of a stretch), "My Sweet Lord," George Harrison, "Personal Jesus," Depeche Mode.

Ashley’s Top 5: 

1. Norman Greenbaum – “Spirit in the Sky” – I’m a sucker for handclaps.  For all of the hokey lyrics and goofy rhymes in this song, it’s still so awesome.  I love the guitar, the handclaps, the background singers, and every time I hear it I get a huge smile on my face. Greenbaum is apparently a practicing Jew (strange, considering the Jesus references abound) and this song is almost enough to convert me.

2. The Clash – “Death or Glory” – One of my favorite songs by The Clash, this one makes the list mostly because it’s awesome and because it contains one of the best biting commentaries about religion: “And I believe in this—and it’s been tested by research—he who fucks nuns will later join the Church!”

3. Violent Femmes – “Jesus Walking On The Water” – Penned by devout Baptist (and son of a Baptist minister) Gordon Gano (who knew?) this song is such a jam by such a great band.

4. Modest Mouse – “Styrofoam Boots/It’s All Nice on Ice, Alright” – This is the song that made me want to learn the banjo years ago.  From The Lonesome Crowded West, this song is apparently a crowd pleaser, according to YouTube, which I guess I never realized, and when I saw Modest Mouse in 2003 I really wanted them to play this jam but Isaac Brock was too drunk and too busy yelling at sailors at The Norva in Norfolk (they did play my other favorite, “Trailer Trash”).  It’s filled with religious references (feet floating like Christ’s, Saint Peter, etc.) and it segues into its companion song, which is also great.

5. Brian Jonestown Massacre – “The Ballad of Jim Jones” – The first time I watched Dig! I fell in love with this song, which has a dope harmonica and really gorgeous lyrics.  It’s a bit of a downer (compared to the rest of the list, I guess) but it’s been one of my favorites for years.

Honorable mentions: I was committed to putting my favorite gospel song on the list but decided against it at the last minute because it wasn’t quite fair to pull something from that genre; anyway, it is this version of “I Can't Feel At Home In This World Anymore,” by Edith & Sherman Collins (“This world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through, my treasures and my hopes are all beyond the blue...”) Other runners-up are: Neutral Milk Hotel–“King of Carrot Flowers pt. 2,” and The Vaselines–“Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam”.

Tim's Top Five:

1) I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 - the song is entirely about Jesus, but you don't really even think about it that way. That's a feat in and of itself that warrants its placement atop the list. But most of all, it was the ship that launched a thousand good songs -- the first two reputable albums I ever owned were U2 - The Joshua Tree and R.E.M. - Out of Time (though I will defend my choice to buy the Spin Doctors - Pocketful of Kryptonite to the day I die). It's simple, it's quiet, and it's powerful stuff, and it's songs like this that make U2's concerts almost as spiritual as Springsteen's -- and when this one's absent, you feel you've lost something.

2) O Mary Don't You Weep - Bruce Springsteen (or Pete Seeger, if you prefer) - this song epitomizes just how phenomenal an achievement Springsteen's Seeger Sessions album was. I had never considered buying it, why would I? Then you hear the kind of fun they're having on the album, a real big band sound, and the fact that it's "Seeger Sessions" that sound like the exact opposite of Pete Seeger -- explosive and potent.

3) Jesus Christ - Big Star - One of the real revelations of the mostly unnecessary Big Star box set was the stereo version of this song, which completely reinvents it and makes it the kind of perfect power pop that laced their first two albums that is lost in the brooding and haunting nature of Third. It gleams brand new, like the last thing Alex Chilton ever recorded. The original (which is captured on youtube here) is still fantastic (though marred by the circus intro for 20 seconds), but the song really makes the best use of an echo chamber I've heard post-Buddy Holly without being Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes-level indulgent.

4) She Left Me For Jesus - Hayes Carll - Well, ignore the cheesy music video that interrupts the song repeatedly, but this is what country music should be, alcohol-soaked, bitter and funny from start to finish.

The chorus really does it justice: She left me for Jesus/And that just ain't fair/She says that he's perfect/How could I compare/She says I should find him./and I'll know peace at last/But if I ever find Jesus/I'm kickin' his ass.

5) Spooky Mormon Hell Dream - Book of Mormon - Well, congratulations, Ryan. You've made me look like I'm a touch flamboyant, since this is my second straight list involving Broadway musicals. For those unfortunate enough to have not seen The Book of Mormon, there are at least a couple songs worthy of mention here, but Spooky Mormon Hell Dream is the winner here for its inclusion of Johnny Cochran. You lose most of it when you don't actually see it on stage, particularly Jesus telling Elder Price that he's a dick, but it's fantastic.

Honorable Mention: Gotta Serve Somebody - Bob Dylan - really the highlight of his brief born-again period, Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton, Knockin on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan, Light Up Ahead - Further Seems Forever, Living Proof - Bruce Springsteen, I Believe - Book of Mormon - it's not as good a song as Spooky Mormon Hell Dream, but it has the greatest line in musical theater history -- all I will say is that it refers to 1978; All-American Prophet - Book of Mormon; Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum - loses points because I spend my time wondering why Norman has a friend in Jesus, given that he's Jewish?

Top 5 Songs with State Names (or Similar Approximations) in Their Titles (East of the Mississippi River Edition):

Tim's Top 5:

1. Simon and Garfunkel – The Only Living Boy in New York – Ok, its association with the movie Garden State does take some joy from the song, since it’s lost all its obscurity value to people of my generation, but it's a very beautiful song that captures simultaneous youthful optimism and bitter sorrow.

2. Crosby Stills Nash & Young – Ohio - In my opinion, it’s hands-down the best song CSNY ever did, and it captures both sides of Neil Young really well, while having bitter and cutting lyrics about the inexplicable murder of four Kent State students by the Ohio National Guard.

3. The Strokes – New York City Cops – The best track off an album I’d never been all that into was left by the wayside when September 11 made it inappropriate to write a song about how New York City cops ain’t too smart. There’s not much to the song, and one could make an argument for leaving it off an album in any event…at least until they listened to it.

4. Elliott Smith – Georgia, Georgia – It’s a shame that New Moon was released only after I’d transferred all my music listening onto the shoddy IPod dock in my office, because Elliott Smith just doesn’t work on the system, because he’s ambient in and of himself. So I’m only discovering this song as a matter of research, but it warrants mention. The frantic pace and clear guitar work (you can practically hear his fingers on the guitar) would have made it a superb inclusion on Either/Or.

5. Rolling Stones – Sweet Virginia – It’s one of the more intriguing tracks on Exile on Main Street, which makes it emphatically worth including in this list. They do a good job in producing this to remove Mick Jagger’s from the rest of the track by a good distance, but the chorus really captures a Let It Be sort of feel of the Rolling Stones just being in a studio and working something out live. It sounds a lot like Springsteen’s work on The Seeger Sessions – very authentic. I really don’t listen to Exile nearly enough.


Honorable mention: R.E.M. – Leaving New York – It’s really literal, I know, but I’m okay with being the only person in the world who likes this song; Arrested Development – Tennessee; Countless artists, including Chuck Berry and The Beatles – Memphis, Tennessee; Neil Diamond – Kentucky Woman – yes, I like Neil Diamond.; The Jayhawks- Somewhere in Ohio

Ryan's Top Five

1. "I Guess The Lord Must Be In New York City" - Harry Nilsson - This is probably one of Nilsson's best, and one of his first hits from 1969. Incidentally, it's one of my favorites and it exemplifies what Nilsson's so great at: simple, happy pop songs done to perfection. (See: Me And My Arrow, The Puppy Song, Good Old Desk, The Town, Poli High, Down To The Valley, etc. etc. etc. etc.) Marry the cheeriness and simplicity of the song with Nilsson's vocals and you have a perfect pop song.

2. "Come On! Feel The Illinoise!" - Sufjan Stevens - One of the best songs, and maybe the best song, from one of the best and most complete albums of this decade. Sufjan uses a wide array of instruments and here crafts another cheery song with poignant lyrics that belie its happier exterior. "I cried...myself...to sleeeep last night..." Man, I love this song.

3. "Piazza, New York Catcher" - Belle and Sebastian - Here's a textbook band that I should be more into than, regrettably, I am (or rather, have tried to be). In any event, I love this track.

4. "Mississippi Queen" - Mountain - A great hard rock/proto-metal song from the 70's. Gains bonus points for its association with the Homerpalooza episode of The Simpsons.

5. "Tennessee" - Arrested Development - This was probably my favorite song of 1992, when I was 9. Arrested Development in 1992 could do anything, I'd dig it. A great song from a great album.

Dan's Top 5:

Wow, there's a lot of Georgia in here.

1. Ray Charles – "Georgia on My Mind" – Ray Charles' first #1 song, and for good reason. Forget that it became the state song of Georgia in 1979, or that Ray Charles didn't even write it. Sometimes, certain recordings become immortal. I even included this on one of my mix CDs, which was otherwise populated by rock tracks. Should be noted that it ranks #44 in Rolling Stone's list of the 500 greatest songs of all time.

2. Frank Sinatra – "New York, New York" – Sure, this song may be a bit cliché, but for me, it's synonymous with the character that's unique to the city. I don't know about anyone else's opinion, but I always enjoy going to New York. Also the only Sinatra song I really like.

3. Brother Bones and His Shadows – "Sweet Georgia Brown" – Harlem fucking Globetrotters. I rest my case.

4. Charlie Daniels Band – "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" – It's rare that a song tells a story this complete. Gains massive points for being a Southern Rock song that's actually known by people who aren't Southern Rock fans (which is because most Southern Rock sucks.) But at the same time, it loses points because, as many people agree, the Devil's band actually rocks harder than Johnny's "winning" performance.

5. Brian and Stewie – "Road to Rhode Island" – I decided to include this song for a number of reasons. First, it reminds us of a time when Family Guy didn't suck ass, or at least not nearly to the degree it does today. Second, it's a decent parody of the classic Hope and Crosby numbers, lest they be forgotten. Third, it makes fun of Rhode Island, and successfully ("like a group of college freshmen who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown.")

Top 5 side a, track 1's

Having temporarily resuscitated the blog and doubled our production from last month, I figure I should up the ante once more before I leave the country for a week so I can finally buy the new Nine Black Alps album.

I had concocted my list a great deal of time ago, but never posted the homage, so here it is. My only preamble would be that I'm not going to snipe songs that I enjoy on an individual level because as great as "Gimme Some Lovin'" is, I don't know that it suits the album it introduces at all...so I don't mention it in the list.

Rob’s Top 5:
1) “Janie Jones” by The Clash from the album The Clash [UK]
2) “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye from the album Let’s Get It On
3) “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana from the album Nevermind
4) “White light/White Heat” by The Velvet Underground
5) “Radiation Ruling the Nation” by Massive Attack

Having lent out my copy of the novel ages ago and never having it returned unto me, I can't provide you whatever analysis Hornby would here.

Tim’s Top 5:
*The US version of The Clash led off with “Clash City Rockers”, not nearly the track Janie Jones is, hence, I have to leave it off my list because I’ve never heard the UK album in its pure unaltered form. So, although my list looks a fair amount like Rob's, it's not the same.

It is also not a coincidence that four of the five albums (the first four) would rank among the top 50 on my list if I were ever to venture into such a fool's errand.

1) “Tangled Up In Blue” by Bob Dylan from the album Blood on the Tracks - I have, throughout many periods in my life, been certain that this is my favorite song. I'm not entirely sure why or how it reached this status, but it is Dylan's finest hour. He'd moved away from his overtly political period, gone through his diversions into Nashville Skyline and a period of underwhelming material that history has essentially overlooked. All the lyrics are memorable, even though they never really add up into one coherent story and are essentially dispensable -- Dylan himself has continued to change the lyrics after the album was released -- but the song essentially captures the story of a man wandering, which seems to describe Dylan himself for most of the decade preceding the song, trying to find himself in folk music, electrified rock, Nashville country, only to find himself in a new place with no direction -- the only thing to do was to keep on keepin' on. And so he did, and this is the result.

2) “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye from the album What’s Going On - Edwin Starr's "War" might typify what the post-Reagan generations will typify as a protest song from the 1960s, but this is the perfect protest in my mind. While other protest songs might inspire anger or motivate you to lash out, this is a seductive plea for humanity, not the dispatching of violence with another kind of violence. Until you really listen to the lyrics, you could have just mistaken it for another Marvin Gaye track. The song itself is so richly layered, part orchestral, part celebration of life and friendship, and part pleading for hope. It's the song that saved and destroyed Motown, and a lead-in to an uneven, but fantastic album that no one should be without. Combine this song with "Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)" and "Mercy Mercy Me" and Marvin Gaye accomplishes more with those tracks than most great artists will in an entire career of singles.

3) “Rocks Off” by The Rolling Stones from the album Exile on Main Street - Exile is widely regarded as The Rolling Stones' finest album, and I'm not one to argue. It's certainly the only one I own, though a case could be made for Let It Bleed or Sticky Fingers. The song is almost the antithesis of What's Going On, while there's ostensible production, everything about the track sounds extremely raw and conveys a sense that you're actually in the same room with the band that just isn't present on any other song I can recall. It's pure energy, both frenetic and kinetic, with a half-dozen instruments and vocals taking the lead at some point. The rest of the Stones' work may only be rock 'n' roll and generally likeable, but this IS rock 'n' roll, defined. It is also worth mentioning that the producer of this track, Jimmy Miller, also was the producer on the aforementioned "Gimme Some Lovin'". Pure genius.

4) “London Calling” by The Clash from the album London Calling - While #1 and #5 on the album seem to convey a sense of unfettered optimism, London Calling is their polar opposite -- a near-suicidal screed -- that the world was facing impending disaster. It was not a subtle message, whether it was burning up in the sun, nuclear war, a new ice age, floods, or, yes, zombies. It has a screamed urgency that creates a perfect counterpoint to the fatalistic and apocalyptic inevitability. In a world certain to be wiped away in a nuclear explosion, perhaps the best you can hope for is to drown first. If you're ever facing nuclear annihilation, take the song with you to your bunker. You'll understand.

5) “Mother We Can’t Get Enough” by The New Radicals from the album Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too - That's right I'm installing "new classic status" after a list of safe ones. The New Radicals' album was totally overlooked because the only reason people bought it (myself included) was "You Get What You Give", the ubiquitous song of 1999, ranking right up there with "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen". With the lead single and a price of $6.99 when I bought it at Best Buy, I had little to no intention of listening to the rest of the album. Thankfully, I did. From the Yoko Ono-ish voice saying "Make my nipples hard, let's go!", this song and most of the album is pop mastery that explains easily why Gregg Alexander (the primary member of The New Radicals, as well as the producer of the album) has since become a leading producer of other music. This track, however, ranks as the pinnacle of the album, despite its too-obvious attacks on consumer culture. The rest of the album fails to reach this point, although there are three or four other semi-essential tracks, including "Jehovah Made This Whole Joint For You" and astoundingly "You Get What You Give".

Honorable mention: "Help!" by the Beatles from the album Help!; “Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen from Born to Run; "The Boy in the Bubble" by Paul Simon from Graceland

Ryan's Top Five
I'm a bit surprised, I didn't expect my Top 5 to turn out like it did...but I felt compelled to go with the new-one-among-some-old-safe-ones strategy, which led to me bumping some worthy contenders. But I digress.

1. "Imagine" by John Lennon from the album Imagine - Well, this is one of the best songs ever written, so, you know. It gets downplayed (even by myself) because of its omnipresence and, as Jack Black would put it, it's obviousness. Oh well.

2. "Purple Haze" by the Jimi Hendrix Experience from the (US) album Are You Experienced? - Personally, I prefer songs 3-5 on my list, but you cannot underestimate the legendary sound of this song's opening guitar riff. Led off one kick-ass album, to be sure, and one of the best albums from one of the best decades of music (excluding, of course, the 1890s).

3. "London Calling" by The Clash from the album London Calling - What Tim said. No argument here--much like song #2 on my list, this song wastes absolutely no time in kicking ass.

4. "Hells Bells" by AC/DC from the album Back in Black - And this one too. I'd be lying if I said I was the biggest AC/DC fan in the world, but that's only because I know too many other fans who are obsessed. Surely this is one of the greatest classic rock albums of all-time. I'm a big fan of ominous openings, and frankly ominousness in general; the bells here achieve said goal. Bonus points for being a better sports intro song than Welcome To The Jungle (says I).

5. "The Crane Wife 3" by The Decemberists from the album The Crane Wife - Well, here's my new one, but this song really is awesome. "The Crane Wife" is definitely one of the best albums of this decade and a masterpiece of, as Colbert put it, "hyper-literate prog rock." This song adeptly sets the tone for the rest of the album, which gels quite well.

Honorable mentions (lots, and in no order, except for the first two): "Baba O'Riley" by The Who [Who's Next], "Back in the USSR," "Sgt. Pepper," and "Taxman" by the Beatles, "Who Loves the Sun?" by The Velvet Underground [Loaded], "Take a Bow" by Muse [Black Holes & Revelations], "My Name Is Jonas" by Weezer [Weezer], "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel [Sounds of Silence], "Gotta Get Up" by Harry Nilsson [Nilsson Schmilsson], "Space Oddity" by David Bowie [Space Oddity], "Five Years" by David Bowie [Ziggy], "Fight Test" by The Flaming Lips [Yoshimi], and "Go-Go Gadget Gospel" by Gnarls Barkley [St. Elsewhere]. Phew.

Dan's top 5:

I'm a bit unsatisfied with my list, since I feel like (a) I'm cleaning up after two pretty good lists by simply listing obvious omissions, and (b) there's not too much that's fresh or original about my list. I'm sure that I'll probably regret it once I stumble on something I missed on Wikipedia within the next few hours. I also maintain Tim's criterion of a decent-to-good album is also necessary for inclusion. That being said...

"Baba O'Riley" by The Who from the album Who's Next - I remember making a mix CD of the best tracks ever. The scheme was, I would pick the best track 1, the best track 2, et cetera until I ran out of room on the CD. So naturally, track one of that CD is my number one here. I remember looking through a lot of potential candidates before firmly deciding on this one the second I saw it. The "synthesizer" intro (actually just created using the arpeggio effects on a Lowrey home organ) is one of the best introductions to a song I've ever heard, and it blossoms into all-out rocking shortly thereafter.

"Wouldn't It Be Nice" by The Beach Boys from the album Pet Sounds - Barry would give me so much shit for this one, since it's such an obvious choice. I had to include it though, since none of you other jerks decided to give props to one of the best pop albums ever. Probably the album's most recognizable song, as well, and the epitome of chamber pop.

"Space Oddity" by David Bowie from the album Space Oddity - One of Bowie's masterpieces, I think it's a shame that it hasn't been mentioned yet. Even though it sounds dated, especially when compared to everything else Bowie has done, it's still a masterful bit of songwriting and performance. Loses just a few points because the song tends to overshadow most of the rest of the album (at least in my eyes. Yes, I do realize how much "Memory of a Free Festival" kicks ass.)

"Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" by the Killers from the album Hot Fuss - My new classic status is bumped up to #4 instead of the usual #5, simply because Hot Fuss was such a great album. This first kickass track was a sign that this band was fresh and new, sort of the same way Jacqueline was a great start to Franz Ferdinand's eponymous debut. Of course, if I had chosen that one, it would have been way too obvious that I was sucking up to Tim. This way, it's a bit more subtle.

"Tom Sawyer" by Rush from the album Moving Pictures - I doubt anyone else from the Top 5 likes progressive rock at all, much less Rush. I figured I'd give credit to this album, and this song in particular, which is probably Rush's biggest hit. It was a major step forward in the 80's synthesizer era, as it was released in 1981. This album, along with Van Halen's 1984 album, would prove that synthesizers could be used in rock music and still kick ass.

Honorable Mention - "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel from the album Bridge Over Troubled Water, also most of Ryan's honorable mentions.

Top 5 Guitar Hero III Songs You're Looking Forward To Playing

Now I'm only aware of Ryan being the only other person here who plays Guitar Hero. But since I'm so excited about the new game coming out this fall, here's my list of songs I can't wait to play.

Dan's Top 5:

1. Muse - Knights of Cydonia - I absolutely love this song. At times, I wake up to it in the morning. Having the ability to play this song live - even with plastic buttons - is a godsend.

2. Weezer - My Name is Jonas - You know when you're setting up a computer for the first time with Windows XP, how you have to choose a name for the computer? My computer's name is Jonas.

3. Beastie Boys - Sabotage - Easily the best song this band has ever done, I actually know how to play the main riff on a real bass. So, this is probably the only song I'll be able to play in real life, too.

4. The Rolling Stones - Paint It, Black - One of my favorite Stones songs, this is probably the one I'd probably choose to play on Guitar Hero if I could have only one pick.

5. The Killers - When You Were Young - Great song, but if you're going with a Killers song, you should go with something more guitar-centric, a la Mr. Brightside. Though if it were actually Mr. Brightside, I would probably kill someone in sheer anticipation of the game, so maybe it's a smart choice after all.

Ryan's Top Five

Well, there will be a lot of agreement on this list. Song #1 is easy--Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar, of course. Aha, never mind. Anyway, here goes:

1. through 4. The exact same songs and order as Dan's - Yep, these songs alone are reason enough to buy the game. Which is to say, I'd buy the game if it had only these songs. Or only Knights of Cydonia.

5. Santana - Black Magic Woman - OK, it's a cover, but this song still rocks hard tasty abs washerboard style.