Top 5 Songs on the White Album

Tim's Top 5:
It's actually among my least favorite Beatles albums. That, however, is like saying that winning it in the lottery is one of my less favored methods of procuring $200 million.

1. I'm So Tired - The desperation comes through clearly in Lennon's lyrics and vocals and he creates a wildly divergent song that starts out crawling, builds, drops back to the crawl and builds to an explosive and frenzied pleading chorus. It's a very simple song, but it shows a more dynamic emotional character than perhaps any other song in the Beatles catalog. It's also got the charm of a work that's clearly not a finished product, something they could never have put on an album before the White Album.

2. Dear Prudence - The bounce to the guitar that makes up the background of the entire song is masterful. It's one of the more cryptic songs and it carries a sort of childlike aura around it. Also noteworthy because Paul McCartney actually played the drums on the track because Ringo Starr had walked away from The Beatles when they began recording it.

3. Helter Skelter - Along with Polythene Pam, this might be as pure a rock 'n' roll song as the Beatles would ever record, and it's hard to believe that it's actually a McCartney song. It's easy to see how Charlie Manson decided this song was telling him something more, since McCartney was rarely this bizarre and abstract in his writing, particularly when, as here, the subject of the song was a piece of children's playground equipment. The deeply buried background vocals are one of the highlights.

4. Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me & My Monkey - Ok, it mentions monkeys, so it's hard to neglect it. It's a very simple song with throwaway lyrics, but Ringo's work on the drums is a highlight and the presence of the greatest of all musical instruments -- the cowbell makes it an essential track for me, even to the exclusion of others that I know are better.

5. Happiness Is A Warm Gun - You can tell that John Lennon is my favorite Beatle going away, since four of the five songs here are his, but The White Album may also have been his finest hour. The ironic lyrics, the haunting vocals, and the screeching and moaning guitar help make this the first dual song (the latter being I'm So Tired) on the album, following after A Day In The Life, which was quite literally two songs since it was written in part by both Lennon and McCartney.

Honorable mention: Yer Blues - another Lennon tour de force; Blackbird is a troublingly beautiful song, The continuing adventures of Bungalow Bill - Yoko's vocals are annoying, sure, but there's a really good song behind it; Glass Onion - I know, it's a throwaway pop song, but it's a masterpiece of a throwaway pop song that just showed that they didn't really need to try to write great songs; While My Guitar Gently Weeps - a great song, just not on the list for me, Sexy Sadie - I've said enough.

Dan's Top 5:

1. Dear Prudence - Probably in my Top 5 Beatles songs. Have we done that list yet?

2. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - George Harrison's masterpiece, I believe.

3. Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey - Probably the most fun song on the album. Occasionally I will hear it in a public setting (i.e., Its playing didn't have anything to do with me), and that's always fun.

4. Blackbird - One of the most covered songs on the album, I'm sure. It loses points for the bird sound effects towards the end.

5. Helter Skelter - I'm including this one because the guitar intro is so dissonant, leading me to believe it was an inspiration for early heavy metal artists. (The album was released in '68, the same year Black Sabbath formed.) The song was created in order to top The Who's "I Can See For Miles."

Ryan's Top Five

1. "Helter Skelter" - I devoted most of my Ranking Time to song #1 versus song #2. I am a bit of a Lennon-phile and I typically prefer his music to McCartney's... but this song just kicks too much ass. "Proto-metal" at its finest. I don't know how to listen to this song on anything other than max volume.

2. "Happiness is a Warm Gun" - This song epitomizes what's so great about Lennon; his lyrics may be indecipherable at times, but they're biting and unassailably cool (thank you Rob Gordon). The music fucking rules, and I love the bitter irony of happiness being a warm gun. "When I hold you in my arms / And I feel my finger on your trigger / I know no one can do me no harm." This set to the tune of a doo-wop "bang bang shoot shoot." Awesome.

3. "Dear Prudence" - This was my favorite song for a while. I still love it but I've grown out of it a bit. That said, I have a weakness for songs with rocking crescendos.

4. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" - This is George Harrison's second-best Beatles song (after "Here Comes the Sun"...do I sense another Top 5 list?). To wax English-teachery, I have always loved the titular personification. I love the idea of a guitar weeping.

5. "Back in the USSR" - It was either this or "Blackbird," and I think I'm just in more of a rock mood lately. This song deserves major cred for setting up "Dear Prudence" (let alone the album) so well.

Footnote: "Revolution" is awesome. "Revolution 1" sucks.

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures, Music

This was Tory's idea originally, last summer, I'm reviving it here. I thought about doing Top 5 Guilty Pleasures but I figured we could expand to movies, TV, books, etc. etc. etc. The list is tough as I have very little shame and embrace most all that I like, despite its blatant shittiness (I'm looking in your direction, Journey and Styx).

1. Wings, any and all songs that I like - I bought Wingspan in high school and was a devotee of its bland 70s bubblegum poppiness. Now those songs are nostalgic, and I have real problems with music and nostalgia (this issue will rear its ugly head in later list entries). Let me throw out some examples of songs that A) I like and B) I assume the general populace accepts as crap: Mull of Kintyre, Junior's Farm, Helen Wheels, Silly Love Songs (not only do I like this song, I love and will seek out this song--it almost deserves a separate entry).

2. Christmas music - OK, I suppose I don't feel especially guilty for my predilection for Christmas music, but the sappiness with which I embrace the holiday season really is a bit odd. From November through December, when we're driving at night, we typically first check Delilah's radio show to see what's on. I won't listen to ANY Christmas music, though (given, the birth of J.C. inspired a lot of good stuff [charity, loving thy neighbor] and a lot of bad stuff [The Crusades, "Christmas Shoes"]). Anyway, as I could say for every song on here, Christmas music surely won't earn me any cool points.

3. Pure Moods, Vol. I - Just kidding.

4. "Say Goodbye" by Madonna - Even I am tempted to beat myself up for liking this song. It did capture that existential ennui that my lovelorn self felt in 1994, though, to be fair.

5. Ace of Bass - All right, I'm not sure if I'm especially guilty about this one either, as I embrace Ace of Bass the same way I embrace Styx and Journey, and the way other people embrace "YMCA" by the Village People. That said, I'll include them, as they're so flagrantly deserving of a guilty pleasure list (they've got the Eurotrash angle working for them in spades). Also, I was a big fan when they were big--I don't appreciate them solely for reasons of kitsch.

Dan's Top 5:

1. Wesley Willis - Nonsense songs with a cheap keyboard accompaniment, featuring closing commercial taglines delivered by a huge, headbutting black man. All credit to Tim for introducing me to Wesley Willis. Rock over London, rock on Chicago.

2. Justin Timberlake - Futuresex/Lovesounds - This is my first of the mainstream artists to admit to liking in this list. I hold no shame in loving Styx or Journey at all, but when to comes to a former member of 'N Sync, that's nearly inexcusable.

3. Prog Rock - I'm talking about Rush, Genesis (the Gabriel years), Yes, Porcupine Tree, Coheed & Cambria, Pink Floyd and Muse. If it's highly technical music, I probably like it. It's about the second-most-nerdy genre of music that there is. (Number one is Heavy Metal. Speaking of which...)

4. Stabbing Westward - This band qualified as industrial metal, apparently. They existed before the pejorative "emo" label came about. They were dark and heavy, and their lyrics were very intense and emotional. NIN is gradually gaining acceptance among my music-loving peers, especially when I tell them that Trent Reznor cites Bowie as an influence. But I doubt that Stabbing Westward will ever enjoy an evolution from the realm of nerd music.

5. "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera - I actually think that this is a well-wriiten and well-executed pop song. But it comes from an artist I could never have imagined listening to. I guess we all know who won that Aguilera-Spears battle from way back when.

Honorable Mentions - any mainstream song that I happen to end up either liking or getting stuck in my head (e.g., "Umbrella" by Rhianna)

Tim's Top 5:

1. Music that's cooler than I could ever hope to be - The fact that I enjoy Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, Ramones, Jay-Z, Kanye West (ok...never mind about Kanye, he's not cool at all) says one thing about me -- I don't know my place and I've had a lot of awkward moments with cashiers who look at what I'm buying and then look at me and immediately call security. I could pass for being really into The Clash, because they did record Rock the Casbah. But Dead Kennedys...yeah, that's well beyond the pop sensibilities I'm permitted under the Geneva Convention.

2. Things involving Don Henley - I own Don Henley's greatest hits. And the Eagles greatest hits double album. And I listen to his solo greatest hits album (not so much with the Eagles album). Yes, even Heart of the Matter. Yeah, I've even listened to All She Wants To Do Is Dance. I blame Bruce Hornsby...because End of the Innocence forced me to buy the greatest hits album, and then...it turned out I listen to the rest of it. Man, I suck.

3. Michelle Branch - I don't ever listen to her albums anymore, since my IPod is the source of all my music and it's listened to mostly at work, where I shan't dare to reveal my forbidden love. But deep down, I still like her and I think I'll end up buying her next album.

4. The Wallflowers - Part of me doesn't feel guilty...the rest of me knows that if I was spotted wearing a Wallflowers t-shirt, I'd have to join the Witness Protection Program. Their albums are actually relatively good, with the exception of Bringing Down The Horse, but it's also totally indefensible to own ALL of them.

5. James Bond themes - Yeah, all of them. Even if it's Sheryl Crow, Madonna, Sheena Easton, Rita frigging Coolidge...yeah, I can't separate them from the movies. So I enjoy them.

Honorable mention: Bruce Hornsby, Bobby Darin. Did I mention I'm 68 years old?

Top 5 Songs of 2007

Tim mentioned this topic last time, and since I'm bored at the moment, digesting some lasagna, I guess I'll go ahead and try starting it. Since it's just songs, I imagine there will be a lot more feedback since I'm pretty sure everything we can think of putting here will be easily accessible. There's always Youtube.

Dan's Top 5:

1. Duran Duran - Falling Down - I had a really tough time trying to determine the #1 spot, which for some reason isn't normally the case. I decided to play it safe and go with a pop song. The masters of pop really came through on Red Carpet Massacre, and this is by far the best song on the album, and ranks up there with "Come Undone" and "Ordinary World" in terms of songwriting quality. I doubt I'll ever get tired of hearing this one.

2. Panda Bear - Comfy in Nautica - I talked a lot about this song in the last post, and it was really the only other contender for #1. I figure it's safer to put it at number two, but really, it's a virtual tie. Who knows, the Duran Duran song may even get old. Now, maybe Panda Bear loses some points because the vocals are just so reminiscent of Brian Wilson and his insane reverb that it almost seems a touch unoriginal. But no, this is just a damn good song.

3. Paul McCartney - Dance Tonight - A-ha, you had forgotten about this single, hadn't you? Shame on you, since it was the epitome of Paul McCartney songwriting. A short, simple-as-hell song. And it gets bonus points for featuring the mandolin. And it's catchy. Look it up on Youtube, and it will be in your head for the next week. Bonus points for Mackenzie Crook being in the music video.

4. Radiohead - Videotape - Not my favorite song off of In Rainbows, but probably the best objectively speaking. It's a good end-of-life retrospective piece, perfect as the last song on the album. I liked the earlier live bootlegs so much better, though.

5. LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends - The music behind this lengthy song is the definition of repetitive, but it gives it almost a "Heroes" kind of feel. I just started listening to it today, and I guess this is my way of saying, "hey, check it out - now I'm listening to LCD Soundsystem." But honestly, this song seems really special. Or maybe it isn't and just seems new to me.

Honorable mentions: All the other Radiohead songs on In Rainbows, The Good, The Bad, & The Queen - Herculean, The Bravery - Believe, The Bravery - Time Won't Let Me Go, Editors - An End Has a Start

Tim's Top 5:
This list is loaded with horns...sorry, KC and the Sunshine Band, this just about had to be your year.

1. Spoon - The Underdog - This is classic Spoon, an understated song that has no basis for ever reaching the radio. The song's even got a horn section, something not you're going to hear out of Austin, TX that often. Britt Daniel is in rare faux British form, and it's a brisk and catchy song with an infinitely memorable chorus moment that you will carry around with you weeks at a time. It's one of the best songs of 1966, which easily makes it the best song of 2007.

2. The Shins - Phantom Limb - It's hard to knock this from #1, since it's the song from 2007 that I've listened to the most obsessively, but for a long time I actually didn't even like it, so I suspect that there had to be something that turned me off initially. It's not all about the vocals here, because the simplistic and constant drumming carries more than its share of the weight, but there's more depth and direction in James Mercer's voice for one second in this track than Scott Stapp will have experienced in his entire life.

3. Jay-Z - Roc Boys (and the winner is...) - Ok, American Gangster is not a great album on par with The Black Album, but this is Jay-Z in rare form. And it's got its own horn section that really carries the flow. It mixes Curtis Mayfield-R&B, the unmatched rap stylings of Shawn Carter, and a pure pop chorus. Rolling Stone called it the number one song of the year, I'm sad to say, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Their inclusion of Kanye's "Stronger" at #13 on the list just shows that they are also quite wrong on a frequent basis.

4. The Bravery - Believe - I don't quibble with someone who would choose Time Won't Let Me Go as the better of the singles on this album, and part of me almost chose Fistful of Sand as the best track on the album. But if you're listening to it on the album, including the 29 second intro that begins the album, I don't think there's much choice. It's a more modest track than Time Won't Let Me Go, that really just sounds "big", but the guitar - drums - guitar - vocals lead-in in the first ten seconds of the song grabs me every time. It's also apparently on Madden 2008, but despite my hours and hours of playing the game, it didn't catch my attention until I got the album. Well done, The Bravery. With respect to 2007, I choose you in the feud with The Killers. In 2005 and 2006, uh...yeah, well, this album was amazing.

5. Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent - This is what an amazing day in London sounds like. This is the song that will forever place "daft" in my lexicon of words that will be useful in a pinch. It has a lo-fi sound, but you can also tell that all 8 tracks on the recorder were getting used before this went in the can. The real hook here is Alex Turner's vocal work and rapid tempo shifts, ranging from frenetic at the beginning of the verses and slowing down into the breaks -- it's perhaps the only song I can think of that builds up to slowing down, but it works masterfully...until it sprints to the finish. It's a 3 minute pop song, but it does it right.

Honorable Mention: The White Stripes - You Don't Know What Love Is (You Do As You're Told); Travis - My Eyes; The Bravery - Fistful of Sand; Bruce Springsteen - American Land (no one else could capture another era's music any better); Bruce Springsteen - Last To Die (probably the best lyrical song of 2007); Fall Out Boy - Carpal Tunnel of Love (just the "woo hoo hoo" almost pushed it into the Top 5); The Arcade Fire - Keep the Car Running; Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder (the lyrics really made the difference, just knowing that the 18 year old girls who wanted to run out and buy the album didn't notice what Adam Levine is saying makes me love this song)

Ryan's Top Five

1. "The Good Life" - Kanye West - I love, love, love this song. This is the ultimate backyard party song.

2. "An End Has A Start" - The Editors This song rules. I love this sound, whatever particular genre this is.

3. "Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors" - The Editors - I thought about ranking this one above song #2, but then I'd just be being cheeky.

4. "Listen!!!" - Talib Kweli - He and Kanye are the two best rappers out there, says I. That'd be an interesting Top 5...

5. "Flashing Lights" - Kanye West - Well, this pick evidences how much music I heard last year. That said, I do love this song. A great driving song.

Top 5 Current Favorite Bands/Artists

Defined however you like, but within reason...though The Rolling Stones may technically tour again, for example, I wouldn't rate them here. (Not only for that reason, but you get the idea.) Ditto Paul McCartney. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no old folk. Ben Folds would probably be the oldest on my list.

P.S., Stole this idea from Tory, who had it a while back.

1. Badly Drawn Boy - It's actually kind of difficult for me to explain my love affair with Badly Drawn Boy. More than any other artist, he makes albums before songs. I listened to One Plus One Is One a few times and couldn't find many memorable singles, but upon repeated listens, I began to love every individual track for its contribution to the whole. My favorite songs: "Four Leaf Clover," "The Shining," "Minor Incident," "Something to Talk About," "Born in the UK," "Silent Sigh," "Fewer Words," et. al.

2. Muse - Feels wrong ranking them this low because they kick so much ass. I guess, if they follow Black Holes up with something close to as awesome, they might be my favorite band of all-time.

3. Ben Folds - In the long run I like Ben Folds more than almost everyone else, of course, but if I'm being truthful to the "current" point, I have to put him third.

4. The Decemberists - OK, now I feel comfortable ranking them, after legally (in an illegal sort of way) getting their albums online. I've listened to The Crane Wife in one of those patented ryan-obsessive sort of Musey, Badly Drawny Boyey-type ways lately. Everyone had successfully convinced me that they were lyrically talented, but what's taken me by surprise is their musicality. These songs rock--try listening to "The Perfect Crime 2" without jamming.

5. Sufjan Stevens - Narrowly defeats The Flaming Lips, probably because At War With The Mystics wasn't as good as Yoshimi (a really tall order). I'm in love with Illinoise. I've never thought of seriously using this adjective, but his lyrics really are "haunting." It takes some talent to pull off a mournful song about John Wayne Gacy and make it personally relevant ("And in my best behavior, I am really just like him / Look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid").

Honorables: The Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley (like Muse, a good follow-up would affect their rank), Coldplay ("You know why you're gay? Because you like Coldplay."), Fiona Apple

Dan's Top 5:

I'm going to interpret this as both "bands that are active" as well as "bands that I've been listening to within the last month or so." That's the only way I'm going to be able to narrow it down to 5.

1. Muse - Dan's Musefest 2007 is about out of gas, as I've been listening to Muse for quite some time. However, with GH III coming out and featuring Knights of Cydonia, I will most likely again take up listening to them nonstop, while being quick to point out that "I was into them before GH III came out."

2. The Decemberists - Probably the band for which I have to do the most listening work, but I'm really looking forward to it. I only "know" about a handful of songs, but I've never heard one that I dislike.

3. Damon Albarn's Latest Project - I figure this includes Blur (recently reunited), Gorillaz, and The Good The Bad & The Queen. I've listened to every "artist," and they're all good. I'm looking forward to whatever he releases next, and I'm almost guaranteed to buy it without listening to it first (which is what I did for TGTB&TQ).

4. Belle & Sebastian - This is only based off one album, but it was good enough for me to probably get their next one, whenever it's released.

5. Starsailor - I have two albums, but in all honesty have only listened to three songs. Again, they're a band I like, but I just need ot work on getting to know them.

Honorable Mentions: Radiohead (only unranked because they've had no new album in a while), The Go! Team, Doves, Gnarls Barkley

Tim's Top 5:
Having now taken a solid nine months to respond to this, I have a little more hindsight to celebrate, but oh well. That said, I don't think my list will have changed. Since my initial list all involved bands who had put out fewer than three albums except The Old 97's, I've just decided to set that limit.

1. Franz Ferdinand - They may never release a third album, but I'm so enamored with the first two that they still make the top 5. They're British, they're good with writing lyrics and making references to things that make me feel British (ah, Terry Wogen, how you make me feel British)

2. OK Go - I love these guys. I don't care about the videos that got everyone into the band, it took me forever to appreciate them on any level, but now that I do, I'm hooked. Oh No is one of my favorite albums of the last decade, and their debut has a few songs that I consider indispensable. Throw in the connection to NPR and attempting to dethrone Bush...and I can't believe I'm putting them at 3.

3. Arctic Monkeys - Both their debut album and the follow up are dynamite albums and they've already mastered the art of the non-album single with "Leave Before the Lights Come On". They're not strictly a singles band, which makes them absolutely essential to this list.

4. The Killers - All right, I gave up on Sam's Town, only to come around and find it to be a masterpiece, even if it's not Hot Fuss. Sawdust was underwhelming, but they're a young band to be putting out a B-sides disc, and it still has some very solid material. Hot Fuss is one of the most consistently great albums of the decade and Sam's Town has some indispensable tracks, including the title track and Bones.

5. Nine Black Alps - Their first album is a masterpiece, one of the best things Rob Schnapf has ever done, and he's one of the greatest producers of all time (see earlier list). The second album is less wonderful, but still quite good.

Honorable mention: The Decemberists have put out more than three, hence they don't get #5, but they still should count. Kanye West, though he loses me more with each album. The Bravery's last album would get mention, but I didn't think much of their debut. Interpol interests me. The bands I would have put in here don't seem "current" enough -- The Old 97's are almost as old as Pearl Jam, Jay-Z is old, Muse isn't that old, but they've put out five albums, Death Cab is pretty vintage, even if I didn't get into them until Plans.

Top 5 Lyricists

Lyrics are what compels me more than music, and this list is to honor those who have realized that lyrics are important and not to just be shoved in between the catchy instruments. I will give one example of their writing, though all of these definitely have much more to offer.

Tory's Top 5:

1. Conor Oberst - The front man for Bright Eyes who started writing music when he was about 13, and put out about 20 songs written from the time between age 13 and 15, all showing the technique of an established poet. It isn't so much cleverness of the lyrics, but the use of rhyme along with half-rhyme, assonance and alliteration to make lines fit together. Has also established about 4 other bands."There's a dream in my brain, that just won't go away, it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago / and i'm standing on a bridge, in the town where i lived as kid with my mom and my brothers / and then the bridge disappears and i'm standing on air / with nothing holding me."

2. Damien Rice - Simply an incredible writer. Pairs music with his songs perfectly, and writes what some could say are the most depressing songs in existence, but always sings them with an incredible beauty. "Cheers darlin, I got years to wait around for you / Cheers darlin, I got your wedding bells in my ear / cheers darlin, you gave me three cigarettes, to smoke my tears away."

3. Maynard - Fronting Tool, Maynard James Keenan writes some of the most enigmatic lyrics to ever be written, but they still hold the ability to be poignant at least in meaning. He's also appeared in A Perfect Circle and has another band he's put together Puscifier. "Some say a comet will fall from the sky / followed by meteor showers and title waves / followed by faultlines that cannot sit still / followed by millions of dumb-founded dipshits / some say the end is near / some say we'll see armageddon soon / certainly hope we will /i sure could use a vaction from this / stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit."

4. Roger Waters - I am an immense Pink Floyd fan, so much that they are one of my favorite bands, as fandom goes. One of the whole points behind Pink Floyd is obviously the trippy lyrics. "Oh, how I wish, how I wish you were here / we're just two lost souls swimmin in a fish bowl, year after year / runnin over the same old ground, and hav you found / the same old fears / wish you were here."

5. Cedric Bixler-Zavala - This may be premature, or a current bias, but these lyrics are some of the most awkward things I've ever read, and that's all there is to say about it. Oh, he sings for The Mars Volta, but stared with the band At the Drive-in. "You must have been phlegmatic in stature / the gates of thanos are spread-eagle wide / you let the shutters make sackcloth and ashes / out of a blind man's picaresque heart."


Ryan's Top 5:

This is a good idea for a list, but I'm feeling a bit boring, as you'll see, so all my answers would probably make the editors at Rolling Stone happy--which means, of course, that my list sucks.

1. John Lennon - For me it was a close call between Lennon and Simon, but I'm going to have to go with the walrus on this one. I don't believe that songs are simply poetry put to music. Occasionally, Paul Simon can write songs that, while great, are more poetic than musical (see: The Dangling Conversation, which is like a poem with background music. Good, though). Anyway, not much sense trying to explain Lennon's greatness, so here's a random quote: "Always know sometimes think it's me / But you know I know when it's a dream / I think I know I mean, ah yes / but it's all wrong / that is I think I disagree / Let me take you down..."

2. Paul Simon - Not to discount Garfunkel's contribution to the band--namely, big hair--but Simon has an amazing way with words. You want examples, I mean, take your pick--The Boxer, I Am A Rock, Sound of Silence, Mrs. Robinson, America, etc. etc. etc. "Hello darkness, my old friend / I've come to talk with you again / Because a vision softly creeping / Left its seeds while I was sleeping / And the vision that was planted in my brain / Still remains / Within the sound of silence." Bonus points for never burning out and producing crap (see: McCartney, Paul), and also solving apartheid in South Africa with Graceland.

3. David Bowie - "I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you / I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you / Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a pink monkey bird / And I'm busting up my brains for the words." I think that pretty much says it all.

4. Harry Nilsson - There were rumors in 1970 that if Paul left the band, Nilsson could've stepped in. That, of course, would have led to Nilsson, Lennon, and Ringo all dying of liver failure by 1973, but it's still neat to think about. "Have you ever watched a moonbeam / As it slid across your windowpane / Or struggled with a bit of rain / Or danced about the weathervane / Or sat along a moving train / And wondered where the train has been..."

5. Paul McCartney - Has done just about everything possible to soil his musical record as of late, but he wrote some of the best songs ever recorded: Eleanor Rigby, Yesterday, Hey Jude, etc. As we've all heard these songs nine-hundred times, I'll forego the lyrics.

Honorable mentions: I won't try to sneak these guys in this time around, but I do think, given some more time, they could be on this list: Sufjan Stevens, Damon Gough (Badly Drawn Boy).

Dan's Top 5:

1. David Bowie - I think that if I have to explain Bowie to you, you're not worth talking to. A candidate for being overlooked lyrically, though, since the music is so strong. "And you / You can be mean / And I / I'll drink all the time / 'Cause we're lovers / And that is a fact / Yes we're lovers / And that is that."

2. Warren Zevon - Songwriting with sardonic dark humor? Sign me up. Honestly, Werewolves of London, though his greatest hit, isn't very indicative of his true talent. "I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins / I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in."

3. Damon Albarn - Blur, Gorrilaz, The Good The Bad and The Queen. They're all good. "She says theres ants in the carpet / Dirty little monsters / Eating all the morsels / Picking up the rubbish."

4. Paul Simon - It still astounds me that with all he did in Simon and Garfunkel, he still had enough left in him for a very good solo career. That rarely ever happens. "When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school it's a wonder I can think at all / And though my lack of education hasn't hurt me none, I can read the writing on the wall."

5. Colin Meloy - The Decemberists are, according to Colbert, "hyper-literate prog rock," and that couldn't be possible without Colin Meloy. Though I've had their music in my possession for quite some time, I truthfully have only been listening for the last few days. But their specialty for morose sea shanties and upbeat songs about myriad fictional characters lands them a spot in the Top 5. "And they tell her not to say a thing to cousin, kindred, kith or kin or she'll end up dead / And they throw her thirty dollars and return her to the harbour where she goes to bed, and this is how you're fed."

Honorable Mentions: Harry Nilsson, John Lennon, and Paul McCartney, excluded as they've been named by Ryan, who did them adequate justice.

Tim's Top 5:
1. Bob Dylan - No question here. Stuck Inside of Mobile (With the Memphis Blues Again), Idiot Wind, Tangled Up in Blue, All Along the Watchtower, It Ain't Me Babe, all great songs...and he would win for My Back Pages alone if it really came down to it. Time Out of Mind's tracks like Love Sick and Not Dark Yet continue the tradition, even if his last two albums aren't really worth mentioning. Who else could have written The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll and actually turned it into a decent song?

2. Bruce Springsteen - Few artists could have put together an album like The Rising without coming off as a dreadfully trite assemblage of flag-waving garbage. But it's just the sheer volume of great songs that Springsteen has written that involve characters without making them as repetitive as things like Ben Folds' solo work where nearly every song has to have named characters. Born to Run, Thunder Road, Brilliant Disguise, American Skin -- this is great stuff.

3. John Lennon - He does lose some for his all-too-sentimental period around Double Fantasy, but he wrote the Beatles' best material. Imagine, Tomorrow Never Knows, Happiness is a Warm Gun, Instant Karma...McCartney is good, but not on this level...and seriously, McCartney wrote a song called Biker Like an Icon.

4. Elliott Smith - He picked up the John Lennon introspective torch, but took it way farther. Ballad of Big Nothing is one of the best written songs I've heard even though it's extremely simple. Figure 8 may have been his lyrical peak with Stupidity Tries, Son of Sam, but Either/Or isn't far off and From a Basement on A Hill has some great stuff.

5. Noel Gallagher - Sure, I was in high school when (What's the Story) Morning Glory came out, but it had some songs that really struck me as well-crafted -- Don't Look Back in Anger, Some Might Say, really everything except for She's Electric and Chapagne Supernova. And I prefer Definitely Maybe with Rock n' Roll Star and Cigarettes and Alcohol, which really warrants (by itself) a spot higher than 5th.

Honorable mention: Bernie Taupin (hard to admit, but in the 1970s, Elton John actually recorded decent music); Neil Young, Adam Schlesinger/Chris Collingwood (since they're two people, I had to settle for honorable mentioning them), Billy Corgan.