Though this gesture may be really insignificant, I'm dedicating this Top 5 list to Heath Ledger, whose death really shocked me when I heard about it today.
Dan's Top 5:
1. Dr. Octopus (Spider-Man) - Doctor Octopus has always struck me as the ultimate badass, for some reason. Maybe it's because he's a doctor, or maybe it's because he's got those sweet metal arms. Anyway, he was probably the first comic book villain I really remember, and he's always been a terrific foe.
2. The Joker (Batman) - The idea of a villain who likes to kill his victims via fatal hilarity is really a genius idea. As a side note, I don't think anyone who has portrayed the Joker has ever been bad. There was Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, the voice of Mark Hamill, and now the late Heath Ledger.
3. Lex Luthor (Superman) - The only one on the list who (to my knowledge) doesn't have any superpowers. He just represents American greed, and his existence as a villain allows us to divorce that quality from the necessary definitions of the American identity.
4. Magneto (X-Men) - Magneto loses points for having the ridiculous helmeted costume. But just a few looks at what he's been able to pull of really makes you have a new respect for the potential effects of the electromagnetic field.
5. Doomsday (Superman) - Easily the latest of the list, I think he (or it) deserves to be here as being the only thing powerful enough to kill Superman (at least for a little while). I remember reading an article in the newspaper when Superman had been killed off. To little old me, it seemed so monumental.
Ryan's Top Five
Dan adeptly covered comic books, so I'm going to digress a bit with my top 5.
1. Dr. Moriarty - The "Napoleon of Crime," in many ways he is the original supervillain. But, frankly, I put him #1 not for his timeless status but because, in Lawrence, we have a dentist named Dr. Moriarty, and amazingly he still gets business (though I've never met any of his clients...perhaps he is consolidating power as we speak).
2. Carmen Sandiego - The leader of V.I.L.E., a criminal mastermind, and the heinous bitch behind hours upon hours of my childhood spent attaining newer, increasingly meaningless detective rankings ("Super Action Gumshoe Level III"). Capable of stealing large geographic locations (e.g., Venice) and geological formations (e.g., the Andes). Abortively chased through the United States, time, and the world, by myself and various kids on PBS (some lucky to receive the US map, other poor bastards unfortunate enough to receive Asia or Africa).
3. Dr. Claw - The leader of M.A.D, Inspector Gadget's archnemesis, and my introduction to the faceless supervillain. (I would later discover Wilson on ABC's Home Improvement.) On the plus side, his dastardly deeds are quite easily foiled, apparently, as evidenced by the tenacity of a young blond girl and her dog.
4. Cobra Commander - Terrorist overlord and leader of Cobra. Responsible for untold death and destruction, specifically at the hands of myself ritualistically wielding an aluminum baseball bat (like the neighbor kid in Toy Story). Also responsible for much of my parents' money being spent in the Hasbro-aided counter-terrorist measures of the late 80s/early 90s.
5. Shredder - The best supervillains have names that are at once supremely ominous and also useful around the office (why don't we have a supervillain named The Printer? Come on, DC). His chief crimes involve masterminding the HARDEST FUCKING VIDEO GAME EVER in the original NES TMNT. He's probably a tough villain to beat, but I never got past the underwater levels.
Honorable Mentions: George Steinbrenner, Mike Shanahan.
Tim's Top 5:
Hm. I should mention that I don't have any comic books and have never had any...thus, this is incredibly difficult for me.
1. Lex Luthor - What does he have that all other supervillains don't have? Easy...a reason to be villainous. The poor bastard's bald as all get out, so of course he wants to kill Superman. I'm only balding and I'd be hoarding kryptonite as a last ditch effort to once again look like I'm not a ponytail away from Michael Bolton-ness. Note: wikipedia informs me that he wants to kill Superman precisely because he blames Superman for making him bald. This is a villain I can really get behind, I hereby also make it my life quest to kill Superman.
2. The Riddler - I don't know that he even counts as a "supervillain", but he's the most notorious of all the Batman villains because he's the one you'd have Phil 344 with, he'd get off on reading shit like Plato and then coming up with little puns and jokes to let you know how smart he was. Seriously, just because Einstein got lousy grades doesn't mean you're smart when you fail Stat 101. Too bad he couldn't develop any job skills besides delivering for Jimmy John's. Riddle me that in the unemployment line, douchebag.
3. The Red Skull (Captain America) - He gets the vote because wikipedia informs me that he was a Nazi twice and then a Communist. What an asshole. But really he wins because he looks weird (the Luthor factor) and because the only comics I've read were my Dad's, which means I've read plenty of Sad Sack comics (they really lack a villain) and Sgt. Fury, where the villains were just Nazis in a general sense. They do make good villains, much like in that popular reality show...what the hell was its name...oh yeah, World War II.
4. Not Me - The evil mastermind that haunts Billy, Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ by running off after breaking a lamp, murdering a prostitute, or knocking over a spoonful of Thel's black tar heroin (seriously, she's that thin for a reason, and it's not Slim-Fast). Unlike said children, he cannot be traced from a vertical map with dotted lines showing the circuitous path that he took either. Truly a mastermind who is responsible for those children's ritualistic beatings from their ill-tempered and unstable father Bill. Oh god, put the wrench down, Bill, P.J.'s already dead.
5. George W. Bush - He has the superpower of being immune from common sense and maintaining tremendous popularity among the Christian right for being a former cokehead with a drinking problem. He's led to the point that the entire slate of non-Giuliani candidates on the 2008 slate would be an improvement...something that can be said about nearly no one short of Stalin.
Tory's Top 5
1. Hank Scorpio - How he wasn't mentioned by anyone else is a sin. He scores number one by comprisng all of the possible qualities that you could want in a supervillain: powerful position, complete armory, soldiers that do his bidding, an awesome personality, an excellent sense of humor, extensive knowledge of his town (i.e. hammock distributors,) on hand sugar (even if it is not in packet form,) and the ability to obtain anything (see: a football team.) He also helps out around his town, handing out fruit baskets and wine to new arrivals in the neighborhood, as well as doing fun runs for charity. Also, killed James Bond.
2. Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd - This is a dual villain, as both of them play the villain as well as the victim. Any episode of bugs bunny is a constant moral crisis akin to Abraham's decision between whether or not he should kill his son Isaac as the Lord has instructed him to do: does Elmer Fudd to catch Bugs, or does Bugs outsmart Fudd? To this day I cannot tell you which one I would side with, and this in my hypocrisy of eating meat but not wanting to hunt.
3. Hitler - Statistics:
- Responsible for the deaths of 6, 000, 000 Jews
- Responsible for the deaths of 5, 000, 000 Slavs, Chinese, Roma, and homo-sexuals
- Responsible for 2 suicides
- Responsible for countless works of terrible art
4. Roger Klotz - This is a difficult one to sum up as Roger himself is not a supervillain himself, however he did embody countless villains facing off against one of the greatest (and definitely the smartest) superhero's of all time: Quailman. Roger Klotz, in his tenure as the bully of the show, faced off against Quailman no less than 3 times. As Klotzilla, he kidnapped Patty Mayonaise, and as Baron Von Klotz and Dr. Klotzenstein he aimed to wreck any attempt Quailman had at saving the world or getting a date with Patty.
5. Baby Gerald - Though not faceless, his crimes are so unbelievable that they are not even mentioned. His biggest offense is his hatred for Maggie Simpson, followed by his unibrow.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Top 5 Worst U.S. Presidents
After reading a lot about Hunter Thompson's Nixon-hate, I figured I'd exercise my history muscles and try to come up with this one. It was a bit harder than I first anticipated.
Dan's Top 5:
1. James Buchanan - The man who probably did the most to destroy the United States. Bleeding Kansas, Dred Scott, and the disintegration of the country. Historians in 2006 voted his failure to deal with secession the worst presidential mistake ever made. Probably the worst thing you can say about him is that Abraham Lincoln's presidency was so exceptional because Buchanan destroyed the country for him, like when you see some asshole kid who challenges you to a game of 52 pickup.
2. Richard Nixon - The man who probably destroyed my faith in the presidency, if I ever had any. He became the father of the modern imperial presidency by encroaching on Congressional power, which I think is part of the reason the U.S. government can accomplish so little these days (The other reason is that it's the U.S. Government.) Then there's that Watergate thing. There was a poll shortly after Watergate that showed that even if the American people knew about Watergate heading in to the 1972 election, he still would have won in a landslide. Maybe it's my faith in the public that should be destroyed.
3. George W. Bush - Eventually, I suspect that he will be ranked higher on this list. I wouldn't be surprised if he's eventually tried for war crimes or something. Think of how well this country was doing back at the turn of the century. Of course, part of the blame could also be put on terrorist attacks and the fact that Congress was controlled by Republicans, allowing Bush to get away with more. Allow his "legacy" to sink in, and he'll probably be regarded as one of the worst presidents of all time.
4. Andrew Johnson - The other half of the Buchanan-Johnson Oreo cookie, with Lincoln secure in his status as the excellent cream filling. He opposed the Reconstruction movement and the establishment of civil rights. He also actually worked to block the Fourteenth Amendment, which is probably the most cited amendment in history (except that 24th Amendment.) He even once wrote, "This is a country for white men, and by God, as long as I am President, it shall be a government for white men."
5. Warren G. Harding - He once said, "I am not fit for this office and never should have been here." I never did learn much about his administration apart from the Teapot Dome scandal, but for what I can gather, he didn't have much control over anything. I'm happy to let him speak for himself here.
Ryan's Top Five
1. George W. Bush - Jesus, Christ. Keith Olbermann says it better than I could ever hope to right here:
Part 1.
Part 2.
Worth the 12 minutes.
2. James Buchanan - I mean, really every president from 1840-1860.
3. Andrew Jackson - He gets the spirit award for A) being such an outrageous racist (I'm sorry, I don't forgive people for the times they live in, fuck that) and B) being well too-admired by critics.
4. Richard Nixon - Douche.
5. George W. Bush - In the interest of being topical, I will rank him twice. In the years (decades) to come we will realize his Legacy of Pain. A murdering liar.
Honorable mentions: There are very few that I actually respect.
Tim's Top Five:
1. Ronald Reagan - This was the face that launched a thousand idiots. Before Ronald Reagan, we had a trade surplus, we were making things and selling things. Ronald Reagan shows up, decries how unions are destroying our ability to compete, effectively ends organized labor in the United States, and now we make nothing and buy everything from other countries, with our only domestic industry being arms. He is the face of the military-industrial complex and has millions of Republicans in lockstep behind anyone who can claim to be a buffoon. He is responsible for #2 on this list, and cannot possibly fall any lower on this list.
2. George W. Bush - He created a fake war, destroyed the last lingering belief that this country was guided by the principles he constantly belabored, and got re-elected by dropping our elections to an all-new low. He helped create the new economic depression and was so bad that he convinced a lot of Republicans to vote for Barack Obama. Read that twice. And he's not sure about evolution, understandably, being the best argument against natural selection that we've seen recently.
3. James Buchanan - Such a bad president he couldn't even get a woman to marry him.
4. Sarah Palin - I don't want to have to edit this list in a few years, so I might as well just get it right the first time.
5. William Henry Harrison - It's hard to be a caretaker president when you spend your entire tenure being taken care of. You shouldn't have let Akira Kurosawa write your speech.
Dan's Top 5:
1. James Buchanan - The man who probably did the most to destroy the United States. Bleeding Kansas, Dred Scott, and the disintegration of the country. Historians in 2006 voted his failure to deal with secession the worst presidential mistake ever made. Probably the worst thing you can say about him is that Abraham Lincoln's presidency was so exceptional because Buchanan destroyed the country for him, like when you see some asshole kid who challenges you to a game of 52 pickup.
2. Richard Nixon - The man who probably destroyed my faith in the presidency, if I ever had any. He became the father of the modern imperial presidency by encroaching on Congressional power, which I think is part of the reason the U.S. government can accomplish so little these days (The other reason is that it's the U.S. Government.) Then there's that Watergate thing. There was a poll shortly after Watergate that showed that even if the American people knew about Watergate heading in to the 1972 election, he still would have won in a landslide. Maybe it's my faith in the public that should be destroyed.
3. George W. Bush - Eventually, I suspect that he will be ranked higher on this list. I wouldn't be surprised if he's eventually tried for war crimes or something. Think of how well this country was doing back at the turn of the century. Of course, part of the blame could also be put on terrorist attacks and the fact that Congress was controlled by Republicans, allowing Bush to get away with more. Allow his "legacy" to sink in, and he'll probably be regarded as one of the worst presidents of all time.
4. Andrew Johnson - The other half of the Buchanan-Johnson Oreo cookie, with Lincoln secure in his status as the excellent cream filling. He opposed the Reconstruction movement and the establishment of civil rights. He also actually worked to block the Fourteenth Amendment, which is probably the most cited amendment in history (except that 24th Amendment.) He even once wrote, "This is a country for white men, and by God, as long as I am President, it shall be a government for white men."
5. Warren G. Harding - He once said, "I am not fit for this office and never should have been here." I never did learn much about his administration apart from the Teapot Dome scandal, but for what I can gather, he didn't have much control over anything. I'm happy to let him speak for himself here.
Ryan's Top Five
1. George W. Bush - Jesus, Christ. Keith Olbermann says it better than I could ever hope to right here:
Part 1.
Part 2.
Worth the 12 minutes.
2. James Buchanan - I mean, really every president from 1840-1860.
3. Andrew Jackson - He gets the spirit award for A) being such an outrageous racist (I'm sorry, I don't forgive people for the times they live in, fuck that) and B) being well too-admired by critics.
4. Richard Nixon - Douche.
5. George W. Bush - In the interest of being topical, I will rank him twice. In the years (decades) to come we will realize his Legacy of Pain. A murdering liar.
Honorable mentions: There are very few that I actually respect.
Tim's Top Five:
1. Ronald Reagan - This was the face that launched a thousand idiots. Before Ronald Reagan, we had a trade surplus, we were making things and selling things. Ronald Reagan shows up, decries how unions are destroying our ability to compete, effectively ends organized labor in the United States, and now we make nothing and buy everything from other countries, with our only domestic industry being arms. He is the face of the military-industrial complex and has millions of Republicans in lockstep behind anyone who can claim to be a buffoon. He is responsible for #2 on this list, and cannot possibly fall any lower on this list.
2. George W. Bush - He created a fake war, destroyed the last lingering belief that this country was guided by the principles he constantly belabored, and got re-elected by dropping our elections to an all-new low. He helped create the new economic depression and was so bad that he convinced a lot of Republicans to vote for Barack Obama. Read that twice. And he's not sure about evolution, understandably, being the best argument against natural selection that we've seen recently.
3. James Buchanan - Such a bad president he couldn't even get a woman to marry him.
4. Sarah Palin - I don't want to have to edit this list in a few years, so I might as well just get it right the first time.
5. William Henry Harrison - It's hard to be a caretaker president when you spend your entire tenure being taken care of. You shouldn't have let Akira Kurosawa write your speech.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Top 5 Things to Look Forward to in 2008
Dan's Top 5:
1. Bush's Final Year - I don't care if we collectively decide to elect a seedless Chia Head of Richard Nixon next November. I can't see how even the worst (and there are some pretty bad choices in the primaries) of potential candidates could be anywhere close to the atrocity that has been the George W. Bush administration. I echo the sentiments of David Cross, who claimed that he may go down as the worst American President ever.
2. The Summer Olympics - Sure, it's in China, but who gives a shit? (Other than Communist-fearing Republicans) This is the Olympics, and it gives us all a chance to be distracted and actually proud of our country for a few weeks. It also gives me a chance to listen to Bob Costas (winner of the Not Joe Buck award) for some decent commentary and enjoy a free four-hour concert in the form of the opening ceremonies.
3. Fantasy Baseball - This needs no explanation. The only reason it isn't any higher is because it's an annual occurrence.
4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Reported release date is next summer, and you're going to have to go see it. You have no choice. Either you want to see a fourth awesome movie from the Indiana Jones series, or you want to see who you should blame for making the two-decade effort fall flat on it's face. I have no idea how the movie will be, but it's probably going to be either extremely awesome or extremely poor.
5. The Last Game at Yankee Stadium - There will undoubtedly be a lot of talk about how the final Yankee Stadium game will be the end of an era. While the Yankees of yesteryear might not have been pure evil (I'm not entirely up to date on my baseball history...) the new Yankee Stadium will doubtlessly be tainted with the spirit of the Evil One from day one. Here's to you, Yankee Stadium, and those fabled players of old of whom it is said it's possible not to hate them.
Ryan's Top Five
1. The NFL Draft - How will Carl Petersen fuck this one up? Does Ryan Sims have a younger brother? I don't know, but we have a very high draft pick (as we fucking blow), so I am, of course, intrigued.
2. KC Royals Improbable World Series - KU football wins Orange Bowl, anything on God's Green Earth can happen.
3. KU Basketball National Championship - I still argue that jinxing things is bullshit. Why? I've intentionally NOT jinxed things for most of my life, and what has it gotten me? That FSU Championship in 1993 and nothing else.
4. Fantasy Baseball - Dan said it all.
5. Ryan Fox Fantasy Football Championship Repeat - Damn straight, homey.
Tim's Top 5
Note: I'm posting this in June of 2008.
1. Its inevitable end. - God, this year has been awful.
2. Phillies playoff tickets - Oh man, I really need to do that again this year. I really enjoy playoffs, and it's clear the Indians are screwed.
3. The Indians trading C.C. Sabathia for magic beans - We all know it will happen, I just want to know if we get anything in return.
4. The Bengals falling into the first pick in the 2009 draft. - Welcome back, Bengals.
5. Josh Hamilton winning a triple crown - I'm pulling for him.
Honorable mention: Hopefully economic recovery of some sort. Some of us pay our bills...doesn't that do something?
1. Bush's Final Year - I don't care if we collectively decide to elect a seedless Chia Head of Richard Nixon next November. I can't see how even the worst (and there are some pretty bad choices in the primaries) of potential candidates could be anywhere close to the atrocity that has been the George W. Bush administration. I echo the sentiments of David Cross, who claimed that he may go down as the worst American President ever.
2. The Summer Olympics - Sure, it's in China, but who gives a shit? (Other than Communist-fearing Republicans) This is the Olympics, and it gives us all a chance to be distracted and actually proud of our country for a few weeks. It also gives me a chance to listen to Bob Costas (winner of the Not Joe Buck award) for some decent commentary and enjoy a free four-hour concert in the form of the opening ceremonies.
3. Fantasy Baseball - This needs no explanation. The only reason it isn't any higher is because it's an annual occurrence.
4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Reported release date is next summer, and you're going to have to go see it. You have no choice. Either you want to see a fourth awesome movie from the Indiana Jones series, or you want to see who you should blame for making the two-decade effort fall flat on it's face. I have no idea how the movie will be, but it's probably going to be either extremely awesome or extremely poor.
5. The Last Game at Yankee Stadium - There will undoubtedly be a lot of talk about how the final Yankee Stadium game will be the end of an era. While the Yankees of yesteryear might not have been pure evil (I'm not entirely up to date on my baseball history...) the new Yankee Stadium will doubtlessly be tainted with the spirit of the Evil One from day one. Here's to you, Yankee Stadium, and those fabled players of old of whom it is said it's possible not to hate them.
Ryan's Top Five
1. The NFL Draft - How will Carl Petersen fuck this one up? Does Ryan Sims have a younger brother? I don't know, but we have a very high draft pick (as we fucking blow), so I am, of course, intrigued.
2. KC Royals Improbable World Series - KU football wins Orange Bowl, anything on God's Green Earth can happen.
3. KU Basketball National Championship - I still argue that jinxing things is bullshit. Why? I've intentionally NOT jinxed things for most of my life, and what has it gotten me? That FSU Championship in 1993 and nothing else.
4. Fantasy Baseball - Dan said it all.
5. Ryan Fox Fantasy Football Championship Repeat - Damn straight, homey.
Tim's Top 5
Note: I'm posting this in June of 2008.
1. Its inevitable end. - God, this year has been awful.
2. Phillies playoff tickets - Oh man, I really need to do that again this year. I really enjoy playoffs, and it's clear the Indians are screwed.
3. The Indians trading C.C. Sabathia for magic beans - We all know it will happen, I just want to know if we get anything in return.
4. The Bengals falling into the first pick in the 2009 draft. - Welcome back, Bengals.
5. Josh Hamilton winning a triple crown - I'm pulling for him.
Honorable mention: Hopefully economic recovery of some sort. Some of us pay our bills...doesn't that do something?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Top 5 Players That Are Hilariously Included in the Mitchell Report
Tim's Top 5:
I read the report, it's a load of garbage, but it is awesome to see that some really really inept players are accused of using steroids or HGH. The whole list of people included on the list is included at http://blogaboutfederalism.blogspot.com
1) Tim Laker - Wow. Seriously? It must only have improved his pitching (0.00 ERA), because if steroids empowered him to hit .226, it's truly shocking to think how bad he'd have been without the help.
2) Manny Alexander - See Tim Laker.
3) Nook Logan - How much farther did he want his bunt singles to go? If we've learned anything from Bonds and Canseco, it's that steroid use can really have detrimental impacts on people who try to steal bases regularly. Without the ability to steal bases, exactly what is it that you'd employ Nook Logan for? Bagging groceries?
4) Chuck Knoblauch - Combining him with Rick Ankiel, I can conclude that performance-enhancing drugs are apparently the primary cause of neurotic inability to throw a ball to its intended location.
5) Wally Joyner - This just lends unnecessary credence to the theory that taking steroids doesn't improve your ability to play baseball. Admittedly, he was washed up by the time he admitted using them, but he wasn't particularly un-washed up all that often in his career.
Dan's Top 5:
(Disclaimer: I'm only pulling names that I recognize from Wikipedia, and don't really know too much about the ones who haven't played recently.)
1. Jeremy Giambi - The shame of being named in the Mitchell report is nothing compared to the shame you experience when you realize that you're the lesser of two Giambis.
2. John Rocker - When you're John Rocker, steroids is probably the least offensive thing you've ever done. That includes playing for the Devil Rays.
3. Rick Ankiel - From what I understand, his use of HGH was prescribed by a physician to aid in the healing process after major Tommy John surgery. So following doctor's orders is, in some cases, banned by the MLB.
4. F.P. Santangelo - Don't know much about him, but allegedly he bought HGH in 2000 and 2001. All that for a single home run and an average of .197? Also, the name is fun to say out loud.
5. Eric Gagne - Apparently bought steroids in 2004. That was the year he got ten fewer saves than the year before, and his performance has sucked ever since due to injury. There are so few outstanding relievers, so why even bother with steroids?
Ryan's Top Five
1. Phil Hiatt
2. Phil Hiatt
3. Phil Hiatt
4. Phil Hiatt
5. Phil Hiatt
I read the report, it's a load of garbage, but it is awesome to see that some really really inept players are accused of using steroids or HGH. The whole list of people included on the list is included at http://blogaboutfederalism.blogspot.com
1) Tim Laker - Wow. Seriously? It must only have improved his pitching (0.00 ERA), because if steroids empowered him to hit .226, it's truly shocking to think how bad he'd have been without the help.
2) Manny Alexander - See Tim Laker.
3) Nook Logan - How much farther did he want his bunt singles to go? If we've learned anything from Bonds and Canseco, it's that steroid use can really have detrimental impacts on people who try to steal bases regularly. Without the ability to steal bases, exactly what is it that you'd employ Nook Logan for? Bagging groceries?
4) Chuck Knoblauch - Combining him with Rick Ankiel, I can conclude that performance-enhancing drugs are apparently the primary cause of neurotic inability to throw a ball to its intended location.
5) Wally Joyner - This just lends unnecessary credence to the theory that taking steroids doesn't improve your ability to play baseball. Admittedly, he was washed up by the time he admitted using them, but he wasn't particularly un-washed up all that often in his career.
Dan's Top 5:
(Disclaimer: I'm only pulling names that I recognize from Wikipedia, and don't really know too much about the ones who haven't played recently.)
1. Jeremy Giambi - The shame of being named in the Mitchell report is nothing compared to the shame you experience when you realize that you're the lesser of two Giambis.
2. John Rocker - When you're John Rocker, steroids is probably the least offensive thing you've ever done. That includes playing for the Devil Rays.
3. Rick Ankiel - From what I understand, his use of HGH was prescribed by a physician to aid in the healing process after major Tommy John surgery. So following doctor's orders is, in some cases, banned by the MLB.
4. F.P. Santangelo - Don't know much about him, but allegedly he bought HGH in 2000 and 2001. All that for a single home run and an average of .197? Also, the name is fun to say out loud.
5. Eric Gagne - Apparently bought steroids in 2004. That was the year he got ten fewer saves than the year before, and his performance has sucked ever since due to injury. There are so few outstanding relievers, so why even bother with steroids?
Ryan's Top Five
1. Phil Hiatt
2. Phil Hiatt
3. Phil Hiatt
4. Phil Hiatt
5. Phil Hiatt
Monday, December 10, 2007
Top 5 "Essential Album Artists"
Aha! Not so fast people...it's in quotes, therefore it's a defined term. Here's the definition:
Essential Album Artist -- You have to have every album. Period. There's something on every one of them that's worth owning, and not just easily replicated by buying a greatest hits comp and going to the concerts and singing along with 1/3 of the songs and being pissed they didn't play every hit. They have to have pushed out four albums -- not counting compilations -- and they have to do it with a band with the same name, you can't just declare Ben Folds a winner by counting his three actual albums with the eponymous Five and his two solo albums. Not that you would anyway. This list gives severe glory to those who lived fast. The Sex Pistols didn't last long enough, Bob Dylan lasted far far too long.
Tim's Top 5:
1) The Beatles - This is too easy. Every one of the thirteen albums is essential because they're all good, even if Please Please Me is too teeny-bop and The White Album is too admired by everyone. Best album: Abbey Road; Worst album: probably With The Beatles, but it still has absolute masterpiece songs on it, it's just also got Please Mr. Postman, which makes me weep inside.
2) Elliott Smith - Elliott Smith has a couple of careers, spending his early days with Kill Rock Stars recording quiet and rough albums, but eventually reaching the sprawling orchestral production of Figure 8. Not only are each of Elliott's albums essential, but he also made Good Will Hunting's soundtrack essential just by including an altered version of Between the Bars and Miss Misery. And, just for good measure, his album with Heatmiser -- Mic City Sons -- is even more essential than all the others, even though it doesn't count to the overall album total. Best album: Either/Or, though I love Figure 8; Worst Album: probably Elliott Smith, but it's still a great album.
3) Pearl Jam - If you like Pearl Jam, you understand that every album, every track becomes essential, because even if the album version of Bu$hleaguer sucks, you'll hear it on an official bootleg and realize it's the greatest song you've ever heard. They can release countless compilations, concert albums, and every time one hits my radar, I still consider buying it. I own them all and although I don't listen to them as much as I should, they're all essential. Best album: Yield; Worst album: Binaural was going to get my vote, then I remembered that they recorded Ten. Ten is the winner. It may have performed a great civic duty by bringing Pearl Jam to my 13-year old consciousness, but radio play has ruined its hope of being a respectable album.
4) The Clash - Sandinista! is a mess, but it's a mess that's still got a lot of value, it's just thinly sown among the 36 tracks, and it's being compared to two of the best albums anyone ever recorded. The Clash and London Calling should both be in the top 50 albums of all time, Best album: I'll say London Calling, because I know I'm supposed to, but I really think that The Clash might be the superior album in my own mind. And Give 'Em Enough Rope blows my mind too. Worst album: definitely Sandinista!, but it's well worth it for being the one person you know who owns the album and has actually listened to it.
5) The Old 97's - Helped in no small part by the small number of albums, each one has value. They run a number of genres in the time span, with the first two being definitely more dependent on country influences with the rock sounding more like Buddy Holly than the Beatleish pop influence that overruns Satellite Rides. In between, Wreck Your Life, Too Far to Care, and Fight Songs run the gamut, but each one has at least a half dozen commendable tracks. Worst album: I'm not enamored with Hitchhike to Rhome, which is too lo-fi country for me, but I think Drag It Up is their weakest effort, because it was an all too conscious effort to return to Hitchhike without the sense of youthful reckless innocence that made an innocuous debut acceptable.
Honorable Mention: Oasis - I don't own Standing on The Shoulder of Giants or What's The Story, but I could easily buy both; Bruce Springsteen - warrants serious mention just because he came surprisingly close for someone with a 35 year career, but Devils & Dust is just not a good album (Magic is, however), and I've never felt a need to own Human Touch or Lucky Town. R.E.M. - god, Reveal is awful. Shame on you, Michael Stipe.
Dan's Top 5:
1. Jimi Hendrix - You could argue that he released three albums as the Jimi Hendrix Experience and one with the Band of Gypsys, but really, all that truly changed was the bass player. There's no question where all the talent was. You shouldn't just buy Jimi's albums, you should have every song memorized. Any sort of "greatest hits" collection does not do the man justice, and "Band of Gypsys" is just as good as anything he did with the Experience. Four albums, no dead weight - the epitome of what this list should be.
2. Peter Gabriel - It's interesting to see how Peter's music has evolved from when he started as a solo artist to now. It's vastly different, but there was never any loss of quality. There really aren't any weak albums, unless you count his soundtracks. Assuming not, his second album was only a modest effort, but I'll forgive that since Peter Gabriel III was one of the best (and most underrated) albums ever.
3. The Beatles - I was going to try to come up with a different fifth artist, but I realized that (a) I couldn't think of anyone, and (b) the Beatles were good enough to be repeated in this list. I probably wholeheartedly agree with Tim here, and I'd like to add that it's because of the Fab Four that we have the standard of a band writing its own songs and consisting mainly of guitar, bass, and drums.
4. Radiohead - Not only do I have all albums, but I have all the B-sides as well. Weak albums include Pablo Honey, Kid A, and Amnesiac. Awesome albums include OK Computer, The Bends, and Hail to the Thief. I credit them with having re-established the album as a valid work of art. Now if only more than a handful of artists would put more effort into making complete albums.
5. The Police - Each one of the five studio albums they made has two big hits on it, as well as a handful of other good songs. Apart from Synchronicity, no album is phenomenal, but if you're going to listen to the Police, it's not that hard to just get all the albums.
Honorable Mention - Smashing Pumpkins, Blur. They would have made it were it not for one single album (Zeitgeist, Think Tank) in their catalogue. So much for last hurrahs. (Yes, I do know Blur are back together and recording a new album.) Also, Muse. Their first album - Showbiz - was decent, but not a must-have like their other three.
Ryan's Top Five
1. The Beatles - Best: Sgt. Pepper or Abbey Road. Worst: meh, why try.
2. Badly Drawn Boy - Man, I love Badly Drawn Boy. Best: One Plus One Is One. Worst: probably Born In The UK, though it's still good.
3. The Decemberists - Four studio albums, all excellent. Best: The Crane Wife (is one of the best albums of this decade).
4. John Lennon solo - Wings had a lot of crap. John Lennon did not. Best: Imagine or Plastic Ono Band, but I actually really like Double Fantasy, nuts to everyone else.
5. Harry Nilsson - All right, I don't own all of them, as some are difficult to locate. That said, I've heard tracks from all of them. Did I mention I love Harry Nilsson? Best: The Point!
Essential Album Artist -- You have to have every album. Period. There's something on every one of them that's worth owning, and not just easily replicated by buying a greatest hits comp and going to the concerts and singing along with 1/3 of the songs and being pissed they didn't play every hit. They have to have pushed out four albums -- not counting compilations -- and they have to do it with a band with the same name, you can't just declare Ben Folds a winner by counting his three actual albums with the eponymous Five and his two solo albums. Not that you would anyway. This list gives severe glory to those who lived fast. The Sex Pistols didn't last long enough, Bob Dylan lasted far far too long.
Tim's Top 5:
1) The Beatles - This is too easy. Every one of the thirteen albums is essential because they're all good, even if Please Please Me is too teeny-bop and The White Album is too admired by everyone. Best album: Abbey Road; Worst album: probably With The Beatles, but it still has absolute masterpiece songs on it, it's just also got Please Mr. Postman, which makes me weep inside.
2) Elliott Smith - Elliott Smith has a couple of careers, spending his early days with Kill Rock Stars recording quiet and rough albums, but eventually reaching the sprawling orchestral production of Figure 8. Not only are each of Elliott's albums essential, but he also made Good Will Hunting's soundtrack essential just by including an altered version of Between the Bars and Miss Misery. And, just for good measure, his album with Heatmiser -- Mic City Sons -- is even more essential than all the others, even though it doesn't count to the overall album total. Best album: Either/Or, though I love Figure 8; Worst Album: probably Elliott Smith, but it's still a great album.
3) Pearl Jam - If you like Pearl Jam, you understand that every album, every track becomes essential, because even if the album version of Bu$hleaguer sucks, you'll hear it on an official bootleg and realize it's the greatest song you've ever heard. They can release countless compilations, concert albums, and every time one hits my radar, I still consider buying it. I own them all and although I don't listen to them as much as I should, they're all essential. Best album: Yield; Worst album: Binaural was going to get my vote, then I remembered that they recorded Ten. Ten is the winner. It may have performed a great civic duty by bringing Pearl Jam to my 13-year old consciousness, but radio play has ruined its hope of being a respectable album.
4) The Clash - Sandinista! is a mess, but it's a mess that's still got a lot of value, it's just thinly sown among the 36 tracks, and it's being compared to two of the best albums anyone ever recorded. The Clash and London Calling should both be in the top 50 albums of all time, Best album: I'll say London Calling, because I know I'm supposed to, but I really think that The Clash might be the superior album in my own mind. And Give 'Em Enough Rope blows my mind too. Worst album: definitely Sandinista!, but it's well worth it for being the one person you know who owns the album and has actually listened to it.
5) The Old 97's - Helped in no small part by the small number of albums, each one has value. They run a number of genres in the time span, with the first two being definitely more dependent on country influences with the rock sounding more like Buddy Holly than the Beatleish pop influence that overruns Satellite Rides. In between, Wreck Your Life, Too Far to Care, and Fight Songs run the gamut, but each one has at least a half dozen commendable tracks. Worst album: I'm not enamored with Hitchhike to Rhome, which is too lo-fi country for me, but I think Drag It Up is their weakest effort, because it was an all too conscious effort to return to Hitchhike without the sense of youthful reckless innocence that made an innocuous debut acceptable.
Honorable Mention: Oasis - I don't own Standing on The Shoulder of Giants or What's The Story, but I could easily buy both; Bruce Springsteen - warrants serious mention just because he came surprisingly close for someone with a 35 year career, but Devils & Dust is just not a good album (Magic is, however), and I've never felt a need to own Human Touch or Lucky Town. R.E.M. - god, Reveal is awful. Shame on you, Michael Stipe.
Dan's Top 5:
1. Jimi Hendrix - You could argue that he released three albums as the Jimi Hendrix Experience and one with the Band of Gypsys, but really, all that truly changed was the bass player. There's no question where all the talent was. You shouldn't just buy Jimi's albums, you should have every song memorized. Any sort of "greatest hits" collection does not do the man justice, and "Band of Gypsys" is just as good as anything he did with the Experience. Four albums, no dead weight - the epitome of what this list should be.
2. Peter Gabriel - It's interesting to see how Peter's music has evolved from when he started as a solo artist to now. It's vastly different, but there was never any loss of quality. There really aren't any weak albums, unless you count his soundtracks. Assuming not, his second album was only a modest effort, but I'll forgive that since Peter Gabriel III was one of the best (and most underrated) albums ever.
3. The Beatles - I was going to try to come up with a different fifth artist, but I realized that (a) I couldn't think of anyone, and (b) the Beatles were good enough to be repeated in this list. I probably wholeheartedly agree with Tim here, and I'd like to add that it's because of the Fab Four that we have the standard of a band writing its own songs and consisting mainly of guitar, bass, and drums.
4. Radiohead - Not only do I have all albums, but I have all the B-sides as well. Weak albums include Pablo Honey, Kid A, and Amnesiac. Awesome albums include OK Computer, The Bends, and Hail to the Thief. I credit them with having re-established the album as a valid work of art. Now if only more than a handful of artists would put more effort into making complete albums.
5. The Police - Each one of the five studio albums they made has two big hits on it, as well as a handful of other good songs. Apart from Synchronicity, no album is phenomenal, but if you're going to listen to the Police, it's not that hard to just get all the albums.
Honorable Mention - Smashing Pumpkins, Blur. They would have made it were it not for one single album (Zeitgeist, Think Tank) in their catalogue. So much for last hurrahs. (Yes, I do know Blur are back together and recording a new album.) Also, Muse. Their first album - Showbiz - was decent, but not a must-have like their other three.
Ryan's Top Five
1. The Beatles - Best: Sgt. Pepper or Abbey Road. Worst: meh, why try.
2. Badly Drawn Boy - Man, I love Badly Drawn Boy. Best: One Plus One Is One. Worst: probably Born In The UK, though it's still good.
3. The Decemberists - Four studio albums, all excellent. Best: The Crane Wife (is one of the best albums of this decade).
4. John Lennon solo - Wings had a lot of crap. John Lennon did not. Best: Imagine or Plastic Ono Band, but I actually really like Double Fantasy, nuts to everyone else.
5. Harry Nilsson - All right, I don't own all of them, as some are difficult to locate. That said, I've heard tracks from all of them. Did I mention I love Harry Nilsson? Best: The Point!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Top 5 Things You Want for Christmas
For simplicity's sake, I'm going to limit this to things that are withing the realm of reasonable expectations. So no private jets, getting to meet non-Baldwin celebrities, or personal slaves. Also, this list is in no way a petition to anyone for gifts - just another Top 5 list. That established, here we go:
Dan's Top 5:
1. Amazon.com Gift Cards - For prices on DVDs and books, there's really no beating Amazon.com, and DVDs in particular are my drug of choice. The only forseeable downside I can see to this one is having to get another DVD shelf, and packing even more crap up when I leave Blacksburg.
2. A Great Album on LP - Trying to find good albums that I feel are worthy of owning on LP is usually a pain, and there's a chance I've overlooked a really great album on my occasional eBay searches. Of course, the drawback is that it's not for anyone who has a lack of knowledge of my taste in music. There's also the chance that I may already have it.
3. Money - Really, this is probably the one thing I could really use the most, but the brutal irony of money is that, while the most useful gift, it shows the least possible amount of thoughtfulness. I know that I'd feel like shit if I just handed a small wad of cash to someone for Christmas, even if it's what they - like me - really wanted. It doesn't show that I really know their likes and dislikes, which is what everyone really wants - proof that someone "gets" them.
4. A USB Recording Interface - Like the Mbox Mini or something. I've recorded my Bass PodXT to the computer before, bit it sounds like there's a lot missing and it's not recording properly. Having recorded through a friend's Mbox unit, I think it will do the trick for any and all music recording needs I have.
5. A Nice Thiers-Issard Straight Razor - I have two straight razors so far, but only my Henckels is a real pleasure to shave with. However, I'd feel like a real jackass asking for one more shaving item when I've already well-established in that hobby.
Dan's Top 5:
1. Amazon.com Gift Cards - For prices on DVDs and books, there's really no beating Amazon.com, and DVDs in particular are my drug of choice. The only forseeable downside I can see to this one is having to get another DVD shelf, and packing even more crap up when I leave Blacksburg.
2. A Great Album on LP - Trying to find good albums that I feel are worthy of owning on LP is usually a pain, and there's a chance I've overlooked a really great album on my occasional eBay searches. Of course, the drawback is that it's not for anyone who has a lack of knowledge of my taste in music. There's also the chance that I may already have it.
3. Money - Really, this is probably the one thing I could really use the most, but the brutal irony of money is that, while the most useful gift, it shows the least possible amount of thoughtfulness. I know that I'd feel like shit if I just handed a small wad of cash to someone for Christmas, even if it's what they - like me - really wanted. It doesn't show that I really know their likes and dislikes, which is what everyone really wants - proof that someone "gets" them.
4. A USB Recording Interface - Like the Mbox Mini or something. I've recorded my Bass PodXT to the computer before, bit it sounds like there's a lot missing and it's not recording properly. Having recorded through a friend's Mbox unit, I think it will do the trick for any and all music recording needs I have.
5. A Nice Thiers-Issard Straight Razor - I have two straight razors so far, but only my Henckels is a real pleasure to shave with. However, I'd feel like a real jackass asking for one more shaving item when I've already well-established in that hobby.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Top 5 Favorite Bands/Artists Circa 1995
Here's a list that precludes any apologizing--the top five bands that you were into in 1995. In other words, imagine you are doing a Top 5 Bands/Artists list of all-time--as your 1995 self.
Ryan's Top Five
1. Smashing Pumpkins - Around this time, I was dead-convinced that 1979 was as good as a song could get, and I was in love with the video. For videos, see also "Tonight Tonight," which may be the greatest music video ever made. "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" really captured that angst I was feeling...and by "angst" I mean a predilection for playing rock music with cool lyrics very loudly. See also "Zero," which still is the one of the best songs to play when you're angry (thank you, Baker).
2. Green Day - Enamored with "Dookie," I acquired (my mom bought) "Insomniac" without hearing any of the music, which is a rare thing nowadays (thenadays?). I remember playing "Brain Stew/Jaded" quite loudly, on one occasion getting my grandma to remark, "This isn't music." For a 12-year-old, I felt pretty empowered with my righteous rebelliousness. Of course, I was overlooking the fact that I owned CDs by: Hootie and the Blowfish, the Rembrandts, and Sheryl fucking Crow. Anyway, I really loved Green Day at this point in my life, and they've successfully done everything to destroy that relationship since.
3. Offspring - Oh man, did I ever love "Smash." The song "Self Esteem" epitomizes my infatuation with playing rock loudly, and to this day I can't pass it on the radio without turning the volume up to 11 and singing along. I also bought their prior albums without hearing any of the music and, well, ... I can't recall a track.
4. Oasis - Ranking Oasis behind Offspring is painful even if this list has little to do with objective awesomeness. Anyway, the two big songs I was obsessed with from this album were "Wonderwall" (still great) and "Champagne Supernova" (I don't really need to hear it anymore). I was not that into "Don't Look Back in Anger," which for some reason I heard again in 2000 and fell in love with.
5. Weezer - Here's the thing: I loved the blue album, but I didn't really get into all of it until later in life. This was the first album I ever got, and I was still very much single-track-minded; when I found a single I liked, I honed in on it to an extreme fault. Thus, in 1995 I listened "Buddy Holly," "The Sweater Song," and "No One Else" way too much, and other (better) songs like "Only in Dreams" and "My Name is Jonas" not as much.
Honorable: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Weird Al Yankovic, and it feels like I'm probably leaving some folk out... I think I've pretty much nailed this list though.
Dan's Top 5:
This is actually extremely hard, since I did not even get into popular music until 1999, and even then I was only into classic rock. It took a long time before I became a fan of more modern artists. That said, I'm going to turn back the clock a bit and list a few bands that were popular at the time, as well as some of my early favorites from my beginnings in '99.
1. Van Halen - Oh my god, have you heard Eddie Van Halen play the guitar? Van Halen will always hold a special place in my heart as the first rock band I really liked. For a hard rock band, they were really pretty original during the early David Lee Roth years. There were a lot of different swing and jazz influences when it came to song structure and style, and there was an undeniable sense of humor in their performances. As much as I've worn out their songs in my head, there's still a pretty good chance that I won't skip over them in my music library.
2. Pink Floyd - I remember when I first listened to The Wall. It actually really freaked me out, the way Trainspotting did. Beyond serving as my personal introduction to the concept of concept albums, Pink Floyd really became the first band I really took ownership of. i considered them visionaries, and I still love the band to this day.
3. Weezer - By 1995, only the Blue album had been released, so I have to factor in my would-be impression that Weezer would continue with such greatness. Apart from a few Pinkerton and Maladroit songs, however, this turned out to not be the case. Still, since I consider that album one of the finest of the 90's, I imagine it would have had a significant impact on my by this point.
4. Blur - I'm assuming I would have been able to find out about Parklife in '94, and subsequently hail it as the best thing to hit music since the decade started. I would have had to rely on the Internet, though, and I can't remember if I had access to it back then. Anyway, that album kicked ass and it sold me on Blur.
5. R.E.M. - I still don't know this band well, but I imagine that if I were into music in 1995, they would be one of my top 5. Man on the Moon is one of my favorite songs, albeit pretty much the only R.E.M. song I know apart from their biggest radio hits. I imagine that if I bothered to collect the rest of their albums, I could find something good on all of them, even though this is just intuition talking.
Honorable Mentions: Probably everything Ryan mentioned with exception of Offspring.
Tim's Top 5:
This is kind of difficult, because I really remember my taste in 7th grade (shudder) and I remember my taste once I was forced to fend for myself when I started college (whew). In between, not so much. Apparently, however, a couple of the answers are easy. Really, given that I had a brother four years older than me, the better title for my list would be "Things My Brother Was Into and I Followed Him Into"...
Frankly, I don't recall Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory) or Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness until 1996 (which is when I saw The Smashing Pumpkins at my first ever concert...but apparently both were released in 1995, or so ITunes tells me.
My list isn't really my idea of the top 5 bands of all time circa 1995, but they were the people I was listening to. Hell, I know The Beatles are better than The Dead Kennedys, but just ask me which I've listened to in the last few months.
1) R.E.M. - This was one of the few spillovers from junior high that hung around. I still think Monster is their second best album ever, and Automatic For the People was the highlight, so it's not hard to defend R.E.M. fanhood. They would then go on to release Up, and there was no reason to fear for the future. Then they released Reveal and there was no reason to forgive.
2) Matthew Sweet - Well, well, well, the truth comes out. It's not really a guilty pleasure because his work after In Reverse is a sheer house of horrors, and I can argue in favor of both 100% Fun and Girlfriend. But really it came just as much from a hyper-pop sensibility merged with my newfound arrival in Nebraska which really required you to support local artists...and it was either Matthew Sweet or 311 and Blue Moon Ghetto. Lord, be glad I chose Matthew Sweet.
3) John Lennon - The John Lennon Collection was the first album in my BMG investment of my freshman year and I listened to it relentlessly. I didn't get into the Beatles full-on until 1996, but I'm pretty sure this album was in the collection in 1995 and predated my full British invasion investment since the Who and The Sex Pistols would follow in ensuing months. The single greatest hits album was like a gateway drug to good taste, and all the albums I owned before it can't take that away.
4) Oasis - I was still hung up on Rock 'n' Roll Star from Definitely Maybe, and I got really hooked on a very emo-ish Don't Look Back In Anger somewhere around this time, and I definitely followed my brother hook, line, and sinker into Oasis. Oddly enough, though, I never bought the album. I still don't own it...and I own Heathen Chemistry and The Masterplan. I'm not entirely sure whether it was really 1995 that Oasis made it impossible to ignore them, but it was close enough to count them.
5) Gin Blossoms - I'd like to pretend I could put Guided by Voices or Pavement into this spot and get some indie street cred, but it'd be a total lie. I was four years away from getting any genuine interest in those bands, so it's got to be Gin Blossoms. At the time, I'd had maybe three sips of alcohol, but apparently I had optimistic views of potential future alcoholism and loved the relentlessly bleak pop sensibilities of New Miserable Experience. I liked Weezer's songs on the radio, but didn't buy the Blue album until a year or two later, Nirvana's Unplugged in New York didn't make it into the rotation of albums I'd get obsessed with until the last month of my freshman year, and I had just moved, so I was really finding my footing in Nebraska and didn't have time to develop good taste. At least that's my story.
Not-at-all Honorable mention: definitely Weird Al Yankovic, Foo Fighters, U2, yikes...Genesis, Inner Circle? I really liked fake reggae when I moved, but only reggae that clearly distanced themselves from any sort of drug use (my relentless hatred for frat boys was preordained)
Ryan's Top Five
1. Smashing Pumpkins - Around this time, I was dead-convinced that 1979 was as good as a song could get, and I was in love with the video. For videos, see also "Tonight Tonight," which may be the greatest music video ever made. "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" really captured that angst I was feeling...and by "angst" I mean a predilection for playing rock music with cool lyrics very loudly. See also "Zero," which still is the one of the best songs to play when you're angry (thank you, Baker).
2. Green Day - Enamored with "Dookie," I acquired (my mom bought) "Insomniac" without hearing any of the music, which is a rare thing nowadays (thenadays?). I remember playing "Brain Stew/Jaded" quite loudly, on one occasion getting my grandma to remark, "This isn't music." For a 12-year-old, I felt pretty empowered with my righteous rebelliousness. Of course, I was overlooking the fact that I owned CDs by: Hootie and the Blowfish, the Rembrandts, and Sheryl fucking Crow. Anyway, I really loved Green Day at this point in my life, and they've successfully done everything to destroy that relationship since.
3. Offspring - Oh man, did I ever love "Smash." The song "Self Esteem" epitomizes my infatuation with playing rock loudly, and to this day I can't pass it on the radio without turning the volume up to 11 and singing along. I also bought their prior albums without hearing any of the music and, well, ... I can't recall a track.
4. Oasis - Ranking Oasis behind Offspring is painful even if this list has little to do with objective awesomeness. Anyway, the two big songs I was obsessed with from this album were "Wonderwall" (still great) and "Champagne Supernova" (I don't really need to hear it anymore). I was not that into "Don't Look Back in Anger," which for some reason I heard again in 2000 and fell in love with.
5. Weezer - Here's the thing: I loved the blue album, but I didn't really get into all of it until later in life. This was the first album I ever got, and I was still very much single-track-minded; when I found a single I liked, I honed in on it to an extreme fault. Thus, in 1995 I listened "Buddy Holly," "The Sweater Song," and "No One Else" way too much, and other (better) songs like "Only in Dreams" and "My Name is Jonas" not as much.
Honorable: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Weird Al Yankovic, and it feels like I'm probably leaving some folk out... I think I've pretty much nailed this list though.
Dan's Top 5:
This is actually extremely hard, since I did not even get into popular music until 1999, and even then I was only into classic rock. It took a long time before I became a fan of more modern artists. That said, I'm going to turn back the clock a bit and list a few bands that were popular at the time, as well as some of my early favorites from my beginnings in '99.
1. Van Halen - Oh my god, have you heard Eddie Van Halen play the guitar? Van Halen will always hold a special place in my heart as the first rock band I really liked. For a hard rock band, they were really pretty original during the early David Lee Roth years. There were a lot of different swing and jazz influences when it came to song structure and style, and there was an undeniable sense of humor in their performances. As much as I've worn out their songs in my head, there's still a pretty good chance that I won't skip over them in my music library.
2. Pink Floyd - I remember when I first listened to The Wall. It actually really freaked me out, the way Trainspotting did. Beyond serving as my personal introduction to the concept of concept albums, Pink Floyd really became the first band I really took ownership of. i considered them visionaries, and I still love the band to this day.
3. Weezer - By 1995, only the Blue album had been released, so I have to factor in my would-be impression that Weezer would continue with such greatness. Apart from a few Pinkerton and Maladroit songs, however, this turned out to not be the case. Still, since I consider that album one of the finest of the 90's, I imagine it would have had a significant impact on my by this point.
4. Blur - I'm assuming I would have been able to find out about Parklife in '94, and subsequently hail it as the best thing to hit music since the decade started. I would have had to rely on the Internet, though, and I can't remember if I had access to it back then. Anyway, that album kicked ass and it sold me on Blur.
5. R.E.M. - I still don't know this band well, but I imagine that if I were into music in 1995, they would be one of my top 5. Man on the Moon is one of my favorite songs, albeit pretty much the only R.E.M. song I know apart from their biggest radio hits. I imagine that if I bothered to collect the rest of their albums, I could find something good on all of them, even though this is just intuition talking.
Honorable Mentions: Probably everything Ryan mentioned with exception of Offspring.
Tim's Top 5:
This is kind of difficult, because I really remember my taste in 7th grade (shudder) and I remember my taste once I was forced to fend for myself when I started college (whew). In between, not so much. Apparently, however, a couple of the answers are easy. Really, given that I had a brother four years older than me, the better title for my list would be "Things My Brother Was Into and I Followed Him Into"...
Frankly, I don't recall Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory) or Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness until 1996 (which is when I saw The Smashing Pumpkins at my first ever concert...but apparently both were released in 1995, or so ITunes tells me.
My list isn't really my idea of the top 5 bands of all time circa 1995, but they were the people I was listening to. Hell, I know The Beatles are better than The Dead Kennedys, but just ask me which I've listened to in the last few months.
1) R.E.M. - This was one of the few spillovers from junior high that hung around. I still think Monster is their second best album ever, and Automatic For the People was the highlight, so it's not hard to defend R.E.M. fanhood. They would then go on to release Up, and there was no reason to fear for the future. Then they released Reveal and there was no reason to forgive.
2) Matthew Sweet - Well, well, well, the truth comes out. It's not really a guilty pleasure because his work after In Reverse is a sheer house of horrors, and I can argue in favor of both 100% Fun and Girlfriend. But really it came just as much from a hyper-pop sensibility merged with my newfound arrival in Nebraska which really required you to support local artists...and it was either Matthew Sweet or 311 and Blue Moon Ghetto. Lord, be glad I chose Matthew Sweet.
3) John Lennon - The John Lennon Collection was the first album in my BMG investment of my freshman year and I listened to it relentlessly. I didn't get into the Beatles full-on until 1996, but I'm pretty sure this album was in the collection in 1995 and predated my full British invasion investment since the Who and The Sex Pistols would follow in ensuing months. The single greatest hits album was like a gateway drug to good taste, and all the albums I owned before it can't take that away.
4) Oasis - I was still hung up on Rock 'n' Roll Star from Definitely Maybe, and I got really hooked on a very emo-ish Don't Look Back In Anger somewhere around this time, and I definitely followed my brother hook, line, and sinker into Oasis. Oddly enough, though, I never bought the album. I still don't own it...and I own Heathen Chemistry and The Masterplan. I'm not entirely sure whether it was really 1995 that Oasis made it impossible to ignore them, but it was close enough to count them.
5) Gin Blossoms - I'd like to pretend I could put Guided by Voices or Pavement into this spot and get some indie street cred, but it'd be a total lie. I was four years away from getting any genuine interest in those bands, so it's got to be Gin Blossoms. At the time, I'd had maybe three sips of alcohol, but apparently I had optimistic views of potential future alcoholism and loved the relentlessly bleak pop sensibilities of New Miserable Experience. I liked Weezer's songs on the radio, but didn't buy the Blue album until a year or two later, Nirvana's Unplugged in New York didn't make it into the rotation of albums I'd get obsessed with until the last month of my freshman year, and I had just moved, so I was really finding my footing in Nebraska and didn't have time to develop good taste. At least that's my story.
Not-at-all Honorable mention: definitely Weird Al Yankovic, Foo Fighters, U2, yikes...Genesis, Inner Circle? I really liked fake reggae when I moved, but only reggae that clearly distanced themselves from any sort of drug use (my relentless hatred for frat boys was preordained)
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