Sunday, July 8, 2007

Top 5 Items on the Taco Bell Menu

This is an awesome idea I had while spending no less than a minute and a half trying to decide what I wanted at Taco Bell.

Dan's Top Five:

1. Crunchwrap Supreme - Taco Bell goes all out and invents the "All-of-our-ingredients Sandwich." I once joked that this deserves the Nobel Prize for Culinary Science... but was it really a joke?

2. Zesty Chicken Border Bowl - No ingredient is bad, with nice amounts of lettuce that will trick your brain into thinking you're eating a salad and that it's actually good for you.

3. Grilled Stuft Burrito - Basically a mammoth helping of beef, beans and rice jam-packed in a tortilla that is in danger of losing its structural integrity as a result.

4. Nachos Bell Grande - Like nachos, only with tons of toppings and still really really cheap.

5. Baja Gordita - I first tried this en route to the USC-VT game. Until I discovered the Crunchwrap, it was the food to get at Taco Bell.

Ryan's Top Five:

This is painful, because I'm really hungry right now.

1. Southwest Steak Bowl - Sheer perfection. Well, in Taco Bell form.

2. Grilled Stuft Steak Burrito - Excellente. Of course I only ever had enough money for this when I was using my previous employer's American Express.

3. Spicy Chicken Burrito - The placement of that sauce (does anyone know what it actually is? I think it's better if we didn't) is key; too many Taco Bells put it all on one end of the burrito, so you get one terrible bite. But usually, this is good.

4. Nachos Bell Grande - I order this without sour cream. Which tastes like shit.

5. Plain Ol' Taco - Seriously though, about 8 of these is a really satisfying meal.

Tim's Top 5:
Give me a break here, I've not been to Taco Bell in some time now and really all the menu items are irrelevant, the most important item is fire sauce, followed closely by hot sauce. I'd gladly accept a large box as a Christmas gift, I just learned too late in life that I need to make friends with people who will be perpetually employed by Taco Bell.

1) Double decker taco - This has all the vital ingredients of a meal at Taco Bell and successfully merges them without involving any of the bad ingredients of a meal at taco bell (tomatoes, sour cream). If I was ever not sure how I could get refried beans into a taco and enjoy the crunchy shell, but still enjoy a flour tortilla, Taco Bell has resolved these issues and put it on the value menu that I will inevitably order off because I'm a cheap bastard.

2) Baja beef chalupa - This, unfortunately, they pollute with tomatoes, but it's acceptable, because the fried shell merges beautifully with the taco-like contents. The sauce, albeit a little on the ranch-dressing-ish side, is the best of the chalupa sauce options.

3) Crunchy taco - These are good. I have no clue why they don't make me violently ill. But they don't...and I love Taco Bell for it. I may have outgrown all other fast food, but Taco Bell and Chick-Fil-A live on. But Taco Bell is open on Sundays, which are the only day I ever want Chick-Fil-A, so f*@! you, Chick-Fil-A.

4) Extreme Chicken and Cheese Quesadilla - If Taco Bell had not sent me a buy-one-get-one-free coupon, I'd never have ordered thee, quesadilla. But I did, and the first one and a half of you were very good. The last half of you? Well, this is why you're at a mere number 4.

5) Caramel Apple Empanada - It's just straight sugar with caramel apples inside of fried dough. It's ninety-nine cents. It makes you feel like you're eating a two course-meal instead of fast food. Sold.

Honorable mention to the 1/2 bound beef combo burrito for being on the value menu and not involving sour cream.


The Monkey said...

Re: #2, it scares me that there's actually something on the menu that you can't afford on a normal basis.

Mr. Fox said...

Them steak bits is too rich for my blood.